[Intro] Arin: Hiiiiiiiiiii…. Danny: Wild Animal Racing is an exciting go kart simulation game with a twist! Arin: Can you handle it? Dan: Play as an elephant, a lion, a zebra, a giraffe, a rhino, or a hippie! A; *ahem* Both: Hippo. D: Hippo. Sorry, I’m far from the screen. A: That would be very funny, though. D: I would love it if just random- A: Um.. A: Dan, this game has VERY positive reviews. D: Does it really? A: Oh yes. D: People love being animals. A:I mean- loo- just look at these reviews. Well, first of all, theres a fuckin poem.. A: To- to promote the game. D: On the island of Zig-Zag-Zog.. D: In the Sea of Oobedeboo.. D: Oobededoo.. A: Ooberdedoo? D: Some amazing creatures that you would never see in a zoo.. A: Ohh.. D: They walk upright on two legs like some kind of aliens from Mars, -But the strangest thing you would not believe is that these animals are driving cars. D: This does not have good pacing to it. A: *reading review* Look- “Possibly the best racing game ever. I’m an elephant!” D: Ooookay.. D: Let’s do it then! A: But look at these reviews I mean, everyones so- A: *reading review* “cool and good'”. A: This ones in…… A: And then we got this one! A: *reading review* “Better than Garfield Kart.” D: WHAT?! D: FUCK THAT GUY! A: I- I mean- *reading review* “Worth every penny!” D: *reading review* “A true masterpiece.” A: How can ya?- ho- how can ya?- A: ALL RIGHT. D: Oh God! A: Go ahead and take your controller. D: Ohhh, goodness. Alright. D: Lets do it. A: So thats Randy, A: The- the randy giraffe. D: I love him. A: Um.. He is very randy. D: Okay, lets do it. A: Split-screen, baby! D: Ohhh.. No.. A: Now I’m gonna be.. D: Yaayy.. A: HiGh- AYEAHAHA A: AYEYAAYHAAYEAAH A: I’m gonna be…. A: The giraffe! A: No… I’m gonna be the hippo. D: *I’M* gonna beee.. A: Hehuhe! Hullo! D: I’m gonna be the giraffe! A: There ya go. D: Alright, yeah. It’s.. …The one that most looks like my body type. A: *laughs* D: Let’s do it! A: Wow, dude A: I think you’re more jacked than that giraffe! D: Aw. Thanks, man i appreciate that! A: Uh.. Well, we could do a world tour, we could do magical or we could do ralley. D: All of those… Op- Like, all of those sound like amazing opportuinities. A: Why can’t you select- A: Uh- Oh D: Alright nevermind Both: Guess we’re doing roads. D: H-How do you control it? A: I don’t know. D: O-kay. A: Hold the right stick. D: Uh- Yea- A: Right trigger. D: That’s it! A: Wow, man. This is uhh…. D: WOOOOO D: -A fucking MASTERPIECE! A: Yeah, according to… …whatever the fuck his name was A: And do you remember what that.. Person SAID? D: What’d they say? A: They said.. …A bunch of a language i don’t know. D: OH NO! A: Damn! What happened? D: I don’t know, I- I went up the road, and.. D: Oh, now I’m.. D: Now I’m right FUCKED. A: Oof. A: Woah- WOAH- A: They knocked me off th- -…Elephant! A: That was fucked up, in this family-friendly game. D: -God.. ngh- Ugh. A: Ooh, you’re all the way in sixth. D: Dude, I’m a distant six. A: Aw.. shit. D: I am bringin’ up the rier. A: Alright- I’m in 3rd! I’m in 1st! A: I’m in 1st! A: AW- What the FUCK! D: Yeah, dude. A: I think they did the same thing for you! D: Yeah- they ran me right off the road, up onto the little hill. A: This game is BRUTAL! D: I know. D: These animals are bloodthirsty- Woah, there are sharks out there. A: As far as im concerned.. A: As far as im concerned, This is… A: The best video game I’ve ever played. D: It’s incredible. There’s never been anything like it. A: No… Not i- not in a million years. A: Y’know… uegh-h.. This- A: This game created a whole new genre! D: What genre is that, Arin? *WHEEZE* A: Animal.. A-Animal race. D: Wow! A: And theres- s-so many games that have been… Uhhh… A: That have USED that genre, Um… uhg-uhhh A: Flappy’s beach patrol! D: Uh-huh! Oh yeah. A: Um.. Uh… A: Dylan’s Backyard Wrestling! D: Oh, I think we all know where we were the first time we played that. A: Oh yeah. A: Um… Uh… A: S-Spanky Monkies.. Uh… A: Snake Choker? D: That’s not a thing! A: No, it’s true! D: Spanky Monkies Snake Choker is a thing? A: Y-Yeah! W-well, It was- It’s a- Animal racing game. A: Um… A: Theres also, uh.. Uh… D: Preffessor Pup’s.. D: Morbid… D: Doggy Death Pile? D: uuuUuuUUUHH D: AW…. D: I was- I had you fuckers in my sights, finally. D: But I couldn’t catch up. A: Wait- How was I in 4th place? D: I don’t know. D: Everybody was in a big-ass cluster. A: What the fuck? D: Alright, lets do this again. A: Alright. We got this. This is easy. A: Wait, this is a different track! D: This is a totally different track. A: Now we’re in the jungle. D: Oh, I see it. A: When the jungle’s a f- a non-specific country. D: Yeah. D: Oh- D: Nooo!! D: NO!!!!!! A: YES! A: I NAILED that zebra! D: NOT AGAIN! D: I’m sorry- im sorry i yelled in everybody’s ear. D: I’m sorry about tha- A: Banana peel! D: I’m just very enotional right now. A: Watch out for my banana peel! A: What- DUDE, THEY’RE RUNNING ME OFF THE TRACK! D: Yeah, this game sucks ass, dude. A: WHAT THE HELL!? A: I CAN’T MOVE!!! D: Why did everyone like this? A: DAN, I CAN’T MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D: Did this just become a.. like… A joke? like.. D: Like a um… A: I ACTUALLY can’t move. D: Everybody likes this, so I’ll pretend like I like it too.. D: That kinda Reddit thing? A: Woah, Woah, Woah, A: Why am I going backwards? A: WHY AM I GOING BACKWARDS? Stop it! D: Like, now it’s a joke of how good it is? A: Oh! A: It’s like you use the right stick to GO forward. D: Ohh! A: You don’t even have to hold R. D: R? A: Yeah. A: The trigger. D: What’s R? D: you-You’ve been holding the trigger? A: Yeah. D: Yeah.. D: You don’t need to do that. A: What, did you just, like, start going? D: eugh-Nonono D: Well- D: Ye-Yeah D: Just use the left stick. D: That’s all I’m using. A: …Oh. A: Yeah, you have control of your thing.. Or, something. D: Bitch, I’m in first! D: I don’t- I- A: Woah! D: What?! A: You won! D: OH. Okay, cool. Yeah. I was- A: You’re #1! D: Why did i go in 5th all the sudden? A: I got 6th place. D: Okay, cool! That’s th- .. D: So, we got first AND last. A: Woah, you’re really killin’ it right now! D: We got that covered. A: Ohh, look at that ocean! D: It’s gorgeous! A: Wow, would ya look at that lava? A: I mean.. I’ve never seen anything like that! D: Stakes is high, bitch! A: You just stole my question mark! D: (???) A: You A-hole! A: bananapeel A: Don’t do it- Don’t get it! A: Yesss! D: *through laughter* Don’t get it.. A: FUCK YOU- A: Oh no- A: ZEBRA!! A: Z E B R A ! ! A: YOU FUCKER!!! A: OHHHH A: I FUCKED MYSELF D: Really? A: GODD I wish i could see that in real life! D: I know. D: (???) A: Yeah, seriously. D: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! D: -Oh, that’s me. Okay. A: Damn, dude! I’m in 6th again! D: God, I’m in first again. I wonder what the pattern could be.. A: Is it because y- w-what are you trying to say? D: *mumbling* A: Woah. A: Hold on a second, Dan. D: You say.. there can be only one? A: There can be only one? A: UHBHUuuuuuuuhGBOYh D: Ohhhh my goddd!! A: Fuck you! A: Fuck you, Rhino! x2 A: Ah, damn! A: How come they can so easily run people off the road so easily and yet, i cannot?! D: I know, it’s VERY harrowing and upsetting. A: GOD you’re so in 1st. A: You’re like, as in 1st as you can possibly be!! D: Except I’m in 2nd. D: But with THAT EXCEPTION I am absolutely in 1st. A: Well, you are in first now. D: Yeah! It’s happening. D: What lap is this? Oh, this is the last lap! A: GDI, dude! D: No, no!! D: AAAWWWW… Photo finish! A: Holy shit, wow! D: But stupid fucking lion beat me! A: Not even a second! D: That peice of shit. D: Oh my godd!! A: Wow. D: I didd itt!!! A: That award is flying through your face! D: It is. A: I got very last. D: Aw, they built a second podium for everybody! D: How nice. A: So they ALL feel included. D: Yeah! A: That’s VERY sweet. D: Everybody got the ‘Good Try’ award! D: Good job, Paul Bird! A: Alright. D: You made a game. A: Alright. A: We’re doing the mysterious course or whatever, and I’m gonna be a zebra. D: Alright.. A: I feel like zebra’s gonna give me a real big edge. D: I’m gonna be the ‘rhinineo.’ A: The ‘rhinineno?’ D: ‘Rhinineo..’ A: Now, rhiniKNOW.. A: That you are a asshole. D: Boy, It’s unsettling when they walk around on two legs like that. A: So what’s- what’s the deal? Can i not- A: World tour! Here we go. D: World tour! A: We’re in Egypt.. …Right now.. D: Take my word for it. D: There are the permhids.. A: There they are, A: It’s in the center- polar center of the world or whatever.. A: And.. When the- sun.. Aligns.. A: Then… D: The Mayans will be enslaved. A: There you go. A: Wow, you know your history, huh? D: I sure do! D: Wheeee! D: Aw- i was gonna run that fucker right off the road.. A: I am still.. In the- A: – oH I’m in 5th! D: Yess! D: That’s better than 6666thhhh! A: I’m feeling good! A: I just ran the fuckin’ ‘lephant’ off the road! D: The ‘lephant?’ A: Oh yeah. D: Fuck you, ‘lephant’! D: Ohhh… A: So you’re not pressing ANY accelerations? D: No. D: I am PURLEY.. D: Using the left stick. A: ‘Cuz apparently the zebra just BLOWS.. Nuts. D: God, my (sword?) D: AWWW.. D: Nevermind, i just ran into the fuckin.. A: That’s what happened to me! D: Aw, now I’m going to wrong way! A: Uh oh. D: What’s happening? A: You hit down on the stick! D: What does that mean? A: On the right stick. A: That’s how you go forward or backward, you hit up and down on the right stick! D: Well, isn’t this a pretty pickle? A: Oh my God! D: ‘Cuz now I’m WAY in 6th. A: It’s happening! A: It’s happening!! D: This game is agony. A: Well I’m in 3rd, now. A: No, it’s not! A: It’s FU- A: DAN, THIS GAME IS FUN AS HELL. D: It’s fun, until you start losing and you realize, like, you are not equipped in any way to catch up. A: Oh yeah. A: What the hell- DAN! A: Wha- Wh- A: Oh, no. You’re not the giraffe anymore. D: Yeah. A: Apparently the giraffe is just.. THE WINNER. A: Like- He’s jus- He’s just the best racer! D: Oh, I’m dropping bananas behind me! A: That’s nice! D: What a cool and original idea! A: Yeah! A: Because when you slip on a banana peel, you go: A: “Woowoowoowoowoowoo!” D: WOOWOOwowow A: And that’s that! A: GIRAFFE!!! A: COME ON, GIRAFFE!!! D: You eat the giraffe? A: HOW IS HE GOING SO FAST?! D: (??) D: (???) D: (????) D: (??????) ?: Aw, fuck. A: Aw, yes. OH- A: Bananas! A: Banana- A: Oh, SHIT! A: OH SHIT THERE’S SO MANY FUCKIN’ BANANAS!! A: DID YOU DROP ALL THOSE BANANAS?? D: Oh, yeah. That was me. A: THERES HUNDEREDS OF THEM. D: Yeah, theres- D: THERE’s MILLIONS OF BANANAS! A: There’s about 7. D: Aw, dude, those bananas really took out a lot of people. A: Yeah, well i fuckin… just.. ..TORE UP that track. D: Yeah, well.. D: I’m a rhinoceros with my hands in the air. A: Oh, we’re in Holland now! D: Oh! A: Is that what this is? D: The Netherlands! D: Just look at those windmills! A: I mean, just look at exactly how.. (???) D: Yeah, it feels like im RIGHT back in Amsterdam. A: Wow, those windmills sure are catching wind! …I’m sure. A: Oh- Oh, oh oh oh.. Really? Really? A: Well, now I’m in 4th. D: Yeah, ye- oh yeah, those windmills are fuckin’ unforgiving, dude. A: I do not like it, Sam i am. D: I… D: Am getting SLUGGED right now. A: Oh, dude i- i believe in you. D: Do you? A: Even though.. A: I want so badly to crush you.. And see you dead on the floor WRITHING in pain. D: ‘Cuz i was gonna say.. D: If you believe in me.. D: You’re right ahead of me, and I’ve got you in my sights. A: Cool! D: Noo! D: NO!! A: Yes! D: NO!!!! A: YES! D: !!!!!NO!!!!!!!! A: Wh- WhAUGH! A: Woahohoho.. D: Get out of my fuckin’ face, elephant. A: What does the bubble do? A: Okay? D: i think it slows you down, actually. A: What? D: I dunno.. D: It doesnt do much. A: ‘Cuz the bubble’s stupid. A: I’m just gonna say that right now. A: I’m gonna put that out in the universe.. D: Yeah, see what happens. D: That son of a bitch, lephant.. A: Oh, that lephant is gonna fuckin’.. He’s terrorize you for the rest of your life. D: Maybe the bubble makes you immune.. ..To everything. A: Oooohhhh… A: But you could pop it prematurley. What does that mean? D: Are you the zebra? A: Hell yeah, I’m the zebra. D: My God, you are CRUSHING this round. A: Dude, what can i say? I have a strong grip strength. D: Oof, man, I am middle of the path. A: Sorry, buddy. D: No, you know what? It’s okay, I still got my gold medal from when i was a young giraffe. A: Yeah, just enjoy your Minecraft grass. D: I gay paree. D: I feel like I’m on Champs-Élysées. A: Oh, im droppin’ so many bananas, dude! D: Yeah, you’re really.. A: HOLY SHIT! D: Way too many bananas. A: That was amazing! A: That was waaaaaay too many bananas.. D: Yeah.. I’m not gonna let you win this one. A: Mmmm… A: I don’t know about that. D: Foof! A: Woah, woah, woah, woah! A: What happened there?? D: I don’t know.. A: Did I get hit by a bananer? D: I thi- I think you might have slipped on your own nanner! A: Ohhh… Not my OWN nanner. hugUgUHGuahaH D: WOAH, WOAH! SO MANY NANNERS! D: Aw.. A: Yeah, see? A: It’s hard, isn’t it? D: Very hard. A: AH A: Oh.. My own bananers! A: Gotta watch out for those! D: Boy, these nanners are- A: Boy, I got some GOOD nanner placement. D: Yeah, it’s like right in the middle of the Arc de Triomphe. (???) D: I’m gonna go the opposite way, and try to fuckin’ plow people as they- A: WOAH DUDE LOOK AT THIS I’M RIDIN’ ON MY SIDE WHEEL! A: LOOK AT THIS I’M RIDIN’ ON MY FUC- A: OHH MY GODD THAT WAS AMAZING D: Oh, you are blowin’ my mind right now. A: Dude- I’m so good at this. A: Holy fuck. A: I don’t mean to toot my own horn but- A: TOOT TOOT D: Yeah, it’s gettin’ tooted. A: Oh my god, im getting tooty as hell. D: I don’t know what’s happening- A: Oh man, I just Rooty-toot-toOted the whole fuckin’ stage! A: I was a whole 2 seconds ahead of Mr. giraffe! D: Oh, i missed everybody, i missed everybody, i tried to take everybody out. A: Dan. D: I’m goin’ the wrong way. A: Dan. A: I really wanna.. D: I refuse to finish this. A: Oh, youre not going all the way. A: You’re going the wrong way. D: Yes I am. D: I’m undoing all of my good work. A: Well- y- you see.. you know.. this is how- this how- this how a loser acts. D: Yeah, i hadn’t thought of that. D: Alright! A: wh-a- Dan. D: 6th place, please! A: Alright.. A: I just wan- D: Doesn’t matter, I made it on the podium! A: I just wanna ask you one thing. A: Oh, you didn’t get 6th, you got 5th! A: Even when you were trying to lose, you did better than my last round. D: That’s a pri- that’s a present. D: You broke the 3,000, dude. That’s INCREDIBLE. A: Now i wanna ask you, Dan. D: Yes, please. D: Good game, or best game? A: What happened? D: What happened? A: Yea- You went from 1st to 5th? D: Yea, you dropped a bunch of bananas… ..On the ground.. and then i went from being a svelte, lithe giraffe, -to a fat, useless rhino. A: Well, he’s not useless, you got 5th place, it’s better than the giraffe. A: I would say the giraffe is useless! D: Alright. What, with his crazy scary brow that casts a horrifying shadow.. D: I feel like I’m at Chuck-E-Cheese right now. D: Like if these things were trying to sell me pizza like, we- we would be there. A: Well, next time on GameGrumps. D: I AM FRIEND RHINO. A: HELLO- A: HelLO I Am FRiENd RHIno. D: Oh God! A: I L O V E Y O U D: Next time on GameGrumps! A: Next tiiime. watch more gamegrumps bitch D: I didn’t appreciate the overt sexual tones of that game. A: Yeah, and like the the very Christian messaging was was just- you know, it’s like keep religion out of my game! D: Yeah.