– So, I’m obviously pumped
about the Winter Olympics. Are you guys pumped? – Yeah, man.
– Hell yeah. – Curling is dope as hell.
– Curling’s dope as hell. I love ice skating.
– Classic. – The bobsled, is the
Jamaican Bobsled Team competing this year?
– Yeah. I know there’s a female Nigerian Bobsledding Team coming out. – Well, win or luge, we still luge. Get it?
– Yeah, I get it… – ‘Cuz you put alcohol down a luge. (crickets chirping) – Alright–
– School me, I don’t know shit about
the Winter Olympics. – I’m gonna give you the craziest things that have ever happened
at the Winter Olympics. (upbeat music) Setting: It’s 1964, Winter
Olympics in Austria. – They have mountains in Australia? – Wait, Winter Olympics in Australia? – No, no, Austria.
– Okay. – Setting: It’s the 1964 Winter
Olympics in Austria, okay? So there’s this Finnish
cross-country skier, Eero Mantyranta and he’s just killing it. – It looks like a cross between Robert De Niro and Mr. Rogers. (laughter)
– First of all, his number is 69.
– 69! – Have fun with that, Internet. – So, he wins the 15
kilometer cross-country skiing competition by 40 seconds. It’s a margin of victory that
still has not been equaled. – We’re dumb Americans,
how far is 15 kilometers? – Oh yeah, good question.
– Yeah. – I’ll have that come up on the screen. – Yeah. – Also, that same year, he
won the 30 kilometer race and he won it by a full minute. – Blew the competition out of the water! – He blew the competition
out of the water. From 1960 to 1972, he won seven medals. How is he so good, right? – Doping.
– You think doping? They had some testing done. His red blood count was 20% higher than the average male athlete, which led to suspicions
that he was doping. – So, was he like on a
like a Limitless pill? – Is that that Keanu Reeves movie? – Yeah.
(laughter) – Fast forward three decades and these scientists tested 200 relatives and a quarter of these
relatives, including Mantyranta, possess an uncommon genetic
mutation that triggers a rise in red blood cells. – Like, super Austrians?
– Yeah. – That makes sense.
– They’re Finns. – They’re Finns.
– Super Finns. – Super Finns.
– Super Finns. – This genetic mutation made
Mantyranta highly sensitive to EPO which is a hormone. During exertion, you know
when you’re working out, EPO increases red blood cell production, which, in turn, increases muscle endurance by contributing more oxygen. You just got more endurance. – So, it wasn’t even
doping, it was just like… – It was natural doping. – That’s like in video games when you like activate God Mode. If it increases your blood while
you’re doing cross country, what else does it increase? – Imagine what else it could do! – Yeah, high five, high five. – Very nice!
(whoots) – Let me set the scene. It’s the 1948 Winter
Olympics in St. Moritz. So, we’re post-World War II. Lotta, lotta pressure. – We can play games and
not kill each other. – Yeah!
– And then out steps the US Olympic Hockey Team. Then, out steps the other
US Men’s Hockey Team. – There were two men’s hockey teams? – There were two men’s hockey teams. They both thought that they
were the actual US Olympic Team. So, basically, one team was sent by the American Olympics
Committee and the other one was sent by the American
Hockey Association. – Like, how did they get to the Olympics? – The International Olympics
Committee is like, nah. If you both want to compete,
neither of you can compete. So the Ice Hockey Federation
steps up and they’re like, we’re going to declare the
American Hockey Association Team the rightful US Olympic
Team so they get to compete. – They had to have uniforms! – And they didn’t get to play in ’em. I feel bad for them, too. – [Woman] That’s framed in
some grandpa’s house right now. (laughter) – And the other team, after
they get rejected, they just start going to the real US
Olympic Hockey Team’s games and they just start heckling
the heck out of them. And, I don’t know if it got into their heads or anything, but… – [Announcer] And the pressure
takes on the American goal! – They ended up only getting fourth. They missed the podium. But then, all of it didn’t
matter because a year later they just like disqualified
them completely. – I feel like the hockey
story would have been like a good Will Ferrell movie. – It gives me a Dodgeball– – Yeah, Dodgeball meets Blades of Glory. – Alright, so let me set the scene. It’s February 2002 in the little snow town of Salt Lake City. So everyone’s pretty hype this year about the speed skater, Apolo Ohno. He had like long hair, goatee, bandana. – Oh yeah.
(laughter) Definitely remember this dude. – Stylin’ in 2002! – Homeboy just went to
Michael’s and got this bandana. – It’s the 1,000 meter short
track speed skating final. – [Announcer] We’ll know in 90 seconds who gets the coveted gold medal. – It begins, he’s lookin’ good. He’s neck and neck with skaters from South Korea, China, and Canada. So they’re all fighting
for a spot on that podium. They’re all rounding the final bend, and the Chinese skater collides with Apolo and they just hit the ice. Then they take everyone down with them. – Oh, man!
– So no one wins the race. – They all, all of them,
it’s a huge wipe out. – Damn!
– Homeboy is all the way over here.
– Damn! – There’s four freakin’ people. – What do you guys think happened? – Apolo Ohno flies? – The guy who’s in fifth…
– China? – No, we haven’t mentioned
him yet, he’s an Australian. – Australia does get to
be in the Winter Games? – And, duh, Australians don’t
even ice skate, you geniuses! – Australia has never
won an Olympic Gold Medal at the Winter Olympics. But, all of a sudden, all these people ran into each other,
this guy gets the gold. (laughter)
– No! – [Woman] The look on his face! That guy’s name was Steven Bradbury. This was actually a strategy for him. Bradbury had sustained serious injuries earlier in his career,
including an incident in Montreal where a competitor’s skate went through his thigh! He needed 111 stitches. – Everybody has a weapon on their feet, like what the fuck?
– It’s scary. People were like, you’re
never going to skate again. A year and a half of rehab, got back out. He goes to the Olympics, but
he’s like, you know what, it’s possible there could
be another accident. I’m gonna hold back a little.
– From the rush. And we’ll wait and see. And guess what? He wait and saw. – Man!
– Wait and saw that gold. – Woo!
– Yeah, man! Look at how disappointed Apolo Ohno is. – But, don’t feel bad
for Apolo Ohno, though, because he got up after
falling and he skated in for second so he got the silver medal. Plus, he won gold for the 1500 meter, so don’t feel bad for Apolo. – People are gonna screw up.
– Maybe that’s a new strategy. – You just take advantage. – I like that, so wait,
let’s go over the lessons. First lesson, some people
are genetically better, sorry, we have to deal with that. – That man is based on a true story. – Yeah. – And America’s greedy so sometimes we send two
teams to the Olympics. – Yeah!
– Yeah. – And then our third lesson
is sometimes you don’t have to be the best, you can
just almost be the best. – Yeah, everybody in the top falls. – Yeah, that’s it! Everyone in the top falls, baby! Does this make you more pumped
for the Winter Olympics? You never know what’s gonna happen. – [Male] Yeah, I mean,
there’s some twins that are skating this year that
are supposed to be cool.