-Running a bit behind today. So I thought,
if you guys wouldn´t mind, I´d just like to write out
my weekly thank-you notes right now.
Is that cool with you? [Cheering]
[ Mumbling ] Cool beans. Thank you guys so much. James, can I get some thank-you-note-writing
theme music, please? [ Playing tranquil tune ]
[ Laughter ] Mm, wow. Very weird.
Very odd, very odd man. -Look how flamboyant. -Hm.
-Flamboyant pocket square. -He´s one of the animatronic
musicians at Chuck E. Cheese. -Is he really?
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Wow! -We just got ´im
from Chuck E. Cheese. [ Laughter ] [ Chuckle ] ♫♫ Thank you, President Trump, for firing Steve Bannon. Wow, I did Nazi that coming.
[ “not see” ] [ Laughter and applause ] Nazi. [ “not see” ] [ Both laughing ]
-Oh, God. -I did Nazi that coming.
[ “not see” ] [ Laughter ] ♫♫
[ Fresh laughter ] Thank you,
opening a tab at a bar, for being the prequel to forgetting your card
at a bar. [ Laughter and applause ] [changes accent] Man,
what time you guys open, man? I think I left it there. It´s under the name Seth Meyers. [ Laughter ] [Laughing]
-[Bangs metal, pops cheek] ♫♫
[ Laughter ] Thank you,
squeeze ketchup bottles, for giving me two options:
no ketchup at all or a blinding laser of ketchup!
[ Laughter and applause ] Ohh, gosh! -Ripped my hamburger in half! ♫♫
[ Laughter ] Thank you,
supermarket gumball machine, for letting me taste 1987. [ Laughter and applause ]
-Whoo! [ Drumbeats,
cymbals crashing ] [ Cheering and applause ] -Those are Joe Cola.
-Stale gumballs. ♫♫
[ Laughter ] Thank you, waterfalls,
or, as I like to call you: fish roller coasters. [ Laughter and applause ]
Yeah. They have fun. [ Applause concludes ] ♫♫ Thank you, insulation, for being cotton candy
with a job. [ Laughter and applause ] [ Laughing ] [ Applause concludes ] [ Light laughter ] ♫♫
[ Laughter ] Thank you, Triple H, for sounding less like
a WWE Superstar and more like an extra-strength
hemorrhoid cream. [ Heavy metal plays ]
[ Laughter and applause ] [ Cheering and applause ] -♫ Time to play the game! ♫ [ Cheering ] [ “The Game” plays ] ♫♫ [ Laughter ] ♫♫ [ Crash! ]
-♫ It´s all about the game ♫ ♫ And how you play it ♫ ♫ All about control ♫ ♫ if you can take it ♫ ♫ All about your debt,
and if you can pay it ♫ -“SummerSlam” airs live
this Sunday, August 20th, on the WWE Network. We´ll be right back with Jon Hamm. -♫ No way you can change me ♫
[ Cheering and applause ] ♫ I am heavy debts;
no way you can pay me ♫