Ozzy Man Reviews: Drunk Olympics

Ozzy Man Reviews: Drunk Olympics

3, 2, 1. There’s the whistle and it is straight to the mini bar. It’s a cold day so these fellas need to warm themselves up before going for a swim. Everyone starts out very confident. Oh this crazy fucker is drinking from the bottle. And so is this wanker. The sober people love it.
The drinking session is off to a cracking start. You can place a bet on who ya reckon will spew first. This bloke has finished his bottle of Vodka. He chases it down with a fucken gherkin. Wowee someone bring this man a Big Mac.
He’s fucked! We have a tumble. He doesn’t know where he is. This fella is all class no matter how pissed he gets, like me Uncle Terry. Now it is time for the race. And it looks like this wanker has passed out. No, he just needed a quick reboot. Everyone else has to get a wriggle on. Aw no MAN DOWN. He’s not going anywhere. The crowd abuses the shit out of him. Back to the pool and it looks like we have an absolute thriller on our hands here. One for the history books. The dickhead in the red cap unleashes his inner Michael Phelps. Although he looks more like me trying get to the dance floor when a fucken great song comes on. Oh no! Tragedy! A cardiac arrest. The last hammered fella is going for gold and he’s got it! Someone get this man a kebab with the lot. He’s demolished his opponents. And have a look at the parents. They are so proud.
There’s his fucken brother. Like a true blue legend he has no time for ceremonies and accolades. He’s like “fuck these flowers, where’s the next party? I have sheilas to meet and pointless conversations to have. Where are my bloody pants?”
And he is out of here. I guess this could be considered the formula one part of the championship. Let’s see how he goes on the first turn. Nah, he’s getting toasted. That was a shit idea.

100 Replies to “Ozzy Man Reviews: Drunk Olympics”

  1. If it is a desease that most drunks hardly have is cardiac arrest, they die all right but almost never from cardiac arrest, ask a pathologist, the heart of a drinker has coronary arteries as clean as baby's.

  2. WTF did i just watch?… That shit was fucking awesome!!! The car blowing up at the end blew my mind…Lol…

  3. I thought Ozzy was going to say "… and one for the obituaries." after he said we have a thriller in our hands, one for the history books."

  4. If this had been shot in Australia those fuckers would have set Olympic records. Even this girls can drink you under the table. Fuck me running.

  5. LMAO I laughed like crazy 0:43
    The wanka at the far end must have thought he was a bat ranger or something, jumping like that lol

  6. Gurkin? Gerkin? Gerkun? Wtf is that??

    Edit: it's spelled GHERKIN?! You Aussies call pickles "gherkins???" Jesus Christ. That word sounds like someone is wanking/choking their chicken! And no, I don't mean "chook!!" I mean COCK!


    I mean D I C K !! (And no, not your Uncle Richard either!!!)

    If we can't even agree on what words are English, how can we ever be allies??

  7. This seems like one of the bits from Monty Python’s various special olympics.

    My favorite is still the Marathon for the Incontinent.

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