If You Competed in the Olympics

If You Competed in the Olympics

(Olympic fanfare music) – Hello, and welcome
back to Rio de Janeiro and the 2016 Summer Olympics. We’ve seen people at the very
peak of human physical ability and there’s plenty more action to come. – Up next, Siobhan
Thompson, she’s a little old to be in this competition, isn’t she? – [Grant] Yes, many competitors
are 10 or 15 years younger than she is and in better
shape than she’s ever been. – [Zac] You know what they
say with age comes experience. – [Grant] Now remember, Siobhan is not an Olympian super human, she’s an average person, just like you. (applause) (dance music) – [Grant] Off to a strong start, looks like she’s writing
and then slightly rewording the same tweet, over and over again. – [Zac] Look at that
concentration, that precision, you can tell that this is something that she has spent hours doing. – Well, it’s paying off now. I bet the other athletes
wish they’d been doing this instead of turning their bodies into musclebound fuck machines. – [Zac] She’s now moving on to
a particularly difficult part of her routine. (cheers) – [Grant] Incredible. She’s binge watching the
second season of Daredevil, even though she heard it was just okay. – [Zac] Truly a testament
to the awesome power of the human perseverance. – She had trouble with
this move in the past. During warmups, she couldn’t make it past the
first season of the Leftovers. – Well, that is very difficult. – [Grant] Excellent dismount. She barely grunted when
she got up from that couch. And it looks like she’s checking to see how that earlier tweet is doing. Such commitment, you can really see how the precious limited
moments of her life have been spent. – [Grant] Well, now this is surprising. She’s going to attempt a very difficult, teach yourself guitar. Now this is a much more
valuable use of time than anything she’s shone us before. Oh, no. – [Zac] That’s a costly mistake. – [Grant] I don’t know if
you caught that at home, Siobhan gave up guitar because the strings hurt her fingers too much. – [Zak] That’s the kind
of pathetic weak-ass shit that’s going to haunt
her at the judge’s table and throughout her entire life. – She’ll have to work hard to overtake the competition now which remember are 20 year
old demigods who regularly fly to other countries to
perform feats of strength. – Some of them are 15. (Dance music) – [Zak] Looks like she’s sleeping in. – [Grant] She’s justifying it by saying she’s had a long week. (applause) – And now she’s going out for drinks for the fourth night in a row. – [Zac] This is just incredible. This one move is a waste of both the night and the following morning. She’s going to feel behind all week. – [Grant] Zac, this is what
the Olympics are all about. What an inspiration. – [Zac] Now let’s see
what the judges think. – [Grant] Wow, one point. – [Zac] You can see Siobahn is happy. She can use this small
sliver of partial success to sustain her for the next ten years. – Hi, it’s Mike Trapp from College Humor. Click here to subscribe. Click here for more fun things. And send help to keep me from sinking. Please, please help. Please help.

100 Replies to “If You Competed in the Olympics”

  1. i'm actually pretty impressed, not by the routine obviously the routine was a shit-sandwich, but her ass was on-point. not super big into skinny girls but sometimes you get a surprise booty worth the gold and isnt that really what this video is about? lets be honest, it would have been funnier with grant doing the exact same thing, but the video was better because of the ass. someone knew she had that great can and wanted it to be known (possibly her) and in the end the video was better and we got to see sweet-sweet ass. its a win-win scenario, and that is why i would easily give her an 8, 9 if it was actually funny. i'm not sure what would have earned the 10 but i'm a perfectionist. slow-motion cameltoe maybe? damn i use a lot of hyphens.

  2. Olympic competitions should have regular people complete in them, just to show how impressive what the Olympians are doing is.

  3. Guitar does hurt your fingers tho. Until you get calluses, it’s excruciating to continue playing with blisters or no skin on your fingertips.

  4. Just okay ?? It was probably the best season of a super hero show–or show in general–on Netflix that year lol

  5. Saw short film before video, was hoping to god that the man got to see his daughter's really f-ing impressive hello rehearsal, want to learn chello. The only emotion it didn't spark was wanting to buy carbonate.

  6. 1:26 That move. What is that move? I've never understood it because it seemed so random and easy. Hilarious to put it in!

  7. WTF why everyone are talking about her body? Jeeezzz there're a lot of horny fuckers they missed the jokes of the video.

  8. I used to play the violin and my fingers would start flaking and my fingers ended up bleeding from pushing the strings down. I stopped a while ago and started piano. But I’m into making my own stuff nowadays.

  9. I wonder what she thinks about how every single comment including this one is talking about how stunning and beautiful she is

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