Honest Trailers – Every Wes Anderson Movie

Honest Trailers – Every Wes Anderson Movie

Before you see the whimsical new animated feature *clears throat* Before you see the whimsical new- *clears throat* Before you see the whimsical new… uh… You know what? The epic voice just isn’t the right fit for Wes Anderson. Can anyone here do a good Alec Baldwin? – Hello.
– Close enough. Take it away Baldy. “Oh, f*** it.” Before you see the whimsical new animated feature from your barista’s favorite director, revisit all his meticulously crafted awkward family fables that make you kinda happy, kinda sad and kinda unsure when you’re supposed to laugh or not. He he he he he……. Why are they laughing? Every Wes Anderson movie, I mean film.
Every Wes Anderson film. Sally forth and tally-ho with director Wes Anderson, whose style is so specific he’s basically his own genre; featuring more symmetrical shots than you can shake an art department at, more nostalgia than you can cram into a quirky indoor tent and more whimsy than a love-struck Cub Scout dancing in his underwear to a lakeside record player. Honestly, after eight movies, I’m not sure if I made that shot up or not. Oh, there it is. Meet a Wes Anderson protagonist. He’s definitely not a woman – but an emotionally stunted man suffering from a vague bout of ennui. “How was that supposed to make us feel?” Watch him deal with a strained parental relationship. “Your mother’s asked me to leave.” “Would it be possible for me to address you as ‘dad’?” “No.” – “Why didn’t you come to dad’s funeral?”
– “Because I didn’t want to.” Sibling rivalries… “You don’t love me!” “Yes I do!” “I love you too, but imma mace you in the face!” And maybe an affair. “You’ve made a cuckold of me.” “I think he’s on to us.” “Of course he is.” But with the help of a brown subordinate slash love interest, a wardrobe full of dapper menswear and a classic slow-motion walk, he’ll end up happy, I think? It’s sort of hard to tell, but that’s what makes it artistic. Revisit eight films as meticulously crafted as the dollhouse sets they probably feature. Including: A tale of two disaffected friends, the cleaning woman that one of them loves and a meticulously planned robbery that goes wrong. A tale of this disaffected student, his disaffected older friend, the teacher both of them love and a meticulously planned revenge plot that goes wrong. A tale of this disaffected family, the sister that one of them loves and a meticulously planned family reunion that goes wrong. A tale of this disaffected oceanographer, the reporter both he and his son love and a meticulously planned documentary that goes wrong. A tale of these disaffected brothers, the train stewardess one of them loves and a meticulously planned trip through India that goes wrong. A tale of this disaffected Fox, the wife he loves and a meticulously planned different robbery that goes wrong. A tale of these two disaffected kids who are in love with each other and the meticulously planned escape that goes wrong. And a tale of this hotel manager, the dead old women he loves and the meticulously planned art heist that goes wrong. It sounds repetitive, but trust me. They’re just the most charming little things. “Thanks.” So before you see the adorable looking Isle of Dogs, revisit the director who can only be described as Wes Anderson – who’s influenced an entire generation of indie filmmakers and an even larger generation of pale hipsters who hate their parents. ‘Ugh, you just don’t get me dad. I was born in the wrong decade.’ “The escape route, just in case somebody is tailing us.” “We’ll start with Boggis’ Chicken House #1” “It’s 25 inches of reinforced granite masonry.” “I’d like to pitch camp here about 1600.” “Klaus Daimler” “Bob Maplethorpe” “Edward Appleby” “Rosemary Cross” “Applejack.” “Goodnight, Mr. Littlejeans!” “You tried–” “Ohhhh!” “Uhhhh!!!” “My mother’s dead.” “Sam’s parents passed away a number of years ago.” “You should have been at Dad’s funeral.” “My father died at seven and a half” “My father was murdered.” “They ran over Buckley.” You know, we gave him crap for repeating himself But the last thing anyone wants is a desaturated shaky-cam CGI fest out of him. Just a movie about the drama club at Hogwarts. Hey, Internet! Do you love puppies? Then click the link on the left because we got the cast of Pacific Rim to play with puppies. We present Pupcific Rim: Puprising *reading comments*

100 Replies to “Honest Trailers – Every Wes Anderson Movie”

  1. One, speak up and join the conversation- we encourage respectful debate.
    Two, respect your community- racism, misogyny, and homophobia aren’t tolerated.
    And three, “be nice.” – Dalton from Roadhouse

  2. i ABSOLUTELY agree with this review. Wes is just a terrible story teller his movies go out in a whimper very very forgettable

  3. The whip pans are honestly one my favorite things about Anderson’s movies, though that I’m probably not special since everyone loves them.

  4. TBH Ed Norton is awesome in everything I've seen him in… And The Grand Budapest Hotel is my favorite movie in the last decade

  5. Also if the movie has a color palette of mostly blue, green, mustard yellow, and red…it's most likely a Wes Anderson movie.

  6. I'm Wes Anderson and now going to make a movie about a disaffected filmmaker who becomes a barista and loves Martin Scorcese movies

  7. I hate Wes Anderson movies so much. They're gentrified Brooklyn in movie form. It's just white mediocrity elevated because it looks like a polaroid from 1975.

  8. Wes Anderson must direct Star Wars please. Clever video about a clever director…… smoking outside a moving vehicle

  9. I really feel this one was made just for me. I've watched it so many times and it doesn't lose it's charm. Much like a Wes Anderson movie.

  10. why I love Wes Anderson's movies is more heart speak of his ability to transcend so many layers of the human experience to touch our core heart with humor & with the oxymoronic twists in life at times so so so repetitive which Wes points out….yet as the ocean ebbs and flows over a rock it eventually changes shape…what grace and focused passion he has for always sharing in such an endearing and poetic heart speak.

  11. Why am I watching this again, I've already watched it thrice last week, and a week before that and a week before that.

  12. Isle of Dogs = A tale of this disaffected country, with a disaffected mayor's son, the dog he loves, and a meticulously planned rescue mission that goes wrong.

  13. Had to revisit this today after Scorcese justified his superhero hot take by pointing out that every time he goes to see a Wes Anderson movie he's getting something new and unexpected

  14. A regular person: I watched this really cool movie last night.

    Hipster artsy film geek: I’m sorry huh? Did you mean a
    F I L M?

  15. If you started out loving Bottle Rocket and Rushmore and are not now a disaffected Wes Anderson fan, there’s something wrong with you.

  16. the scene in darjeeling limited when they got kick out from the train,and walk slowly following the train and start throwing rock was hillarious,.

  17. Here's one I've made up: A tale of 3 dislofected freinds and one women they all love and a meticulously planed pyramid scem that goes wrong

  18. Old times telephones and the face punches
    people suddenly running away,
    these are some few of my favorite Wes Anderson things.

  19. I didn't realize that two of the weirdest indie movies my formerly a barista friend has made me watch were by the same director… So many things makes sense now.

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