Game Program Attack! – Race Wars (Ep #5)

Game Program Attack! – Race Wars (Ep #5)


[Chief:] Okay, Ace. This is your last race as
an undercover streetracing cop. The stakes are high. [Ace:] Blah blah blah. The US will get annexed into Canada. I get it. Jeez. [Chief:] This isn’t a goddamn joke, Ace. I can’t believe I came out of retirement for this. You’re too reckless. [Chang:] More rike I wreck your mom’s face!
(laughs) [Ace:] Lin Chang! Yakuza enforcer
and world champion Tokyo street drifter! [Chang:] The very same! [Ace:] And expert fuck-face. [Chang:] I fuck your face. [Jacque:] Hey guys, why
don’t we back up all this trash-talk and leave it on the curb, eh? [Chang:] Die in fire, Jacque! [Jacque:] Ha ha, actually a huge fear of mine. Good luck, everyone! [Chang:] Say, Ace.
How’s your partner doing? [Ace:] Seriously, you don’t remember?
You murdered Lance like five years ago. [Chang:] Of course I do! Just reminding you, ha ha ha. [Ace:] Son of a bitch, no way! [Chang:] You can’t beat me in turn, Ace! I’m world drift champion. [Chief:] He’s right, Ace. You’ll have to wait for the
straightaway and hit the nitrous. [Ace:] I don’t need the nitrous, chief. I can beat him fair and square! [Chief:] Now isn’t the time for foolish pride. There’s too much at stake! [Ace:] You don’t need to remind me, chief. [Chang:] Oh, it’s more personal now. [Ace:] Lin, what have you done?
[Chang:] I took out a rittle ensurance. Right now, Stephanie, your girlfriend and crew chief’s daughter,
strapped to Yakuza rocket, ready to be fired into space! [Ace:] The Yakuza have a space program? [Chang:] Space crime is the future! And if I don’t cross the line first,
she becomes dead person in space! [Ace:] Dammit chief, I have to let him win! He already killed Lance.
I won’t let him take everything I have! [Chief:] Listen! Stephanie loves you! And I know if she was in your position, she’d go for the win!
The stakes, Ace! [Ace:] They’re too high, I know.
God damn, Chief. Look at us weepy bitches. All right, let’s do this. But I’m gonna need some help. [Jacque:] I’ll help ya, buddy. I don’t know what I’d do if my
model girlfriend Simone was in danger. [Ace:] Thanks, Jacque. But we’re
gonna need more than Chief’s free healthcare and a moose cavalry to win this. [Chief:] I don’t know, Ace.
A moose cavalry sounds pretty great. [Lance:] Maybe I can help. [Ace:] Lance! My former partner! But I thought you died at the hands of Lin Chang! [Lance:] I faked my death, Ace. To join a ragtag car race team,
like the ones we used to hunt down. [Ace:] But Lance! I don’t understand! Really, I don’t! [Lance:] I done some bad stuff, Ace.
Terrible things that I hope to forget. They were dark times,
and I did what I needed to survive in the seedy underworld,
to take it apart from the inside. But I succumbed to the darkness.
I’ve already said too much. [Jacque:] This is very mysterious and compelling. [Lance:] Helpng you, Ace, I feel
may be my last chance at redemption. [Ace:] Okay then! Lance, Jacque, Chief, let’s do this. [Chief:] Ace! Your only chance is to draft each other and fire off in a slingshot maneuver! [Lance:] Aha, the Guantanamo Suitrack. Just like the old days, baby. [Ace:] Alright, Jacque, you make the first move. [Jacque:] Will do! [Chang:]Well rooky here! If it isn’t the adorable mounty here to save the day. [Jacque:] I’m gonna beat you
then skin you and wear you for warmth while I get a Saskatchewan
skinner from my model girlfriend. [Chang:] That would be scary if you weren’t dead! Hah! [Ace:] Jacque! No! [Jacque:] Oh jeez, losing control here guys. OH JESUS SHIT I’M BURNING ALIVE THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I DIDN’T WANT TO DIE [Lance:] Damn. Lin just made our boy extra crispy. [Ace:] Now I want some chicken. [Lance:] Speakin’ of food, let’s take him out like some cheap chinese. Take out. Joe, go! [Ace:] Hey, Lin! [Chang:] Hm?
[Ace:] This one’s for Lance! [Lance:] Hey, thanks buddy. [Chang:] Nooooooo! [Ace:] Yes! [Lance:] My shadowy past has been redeemed! [Chief:] Woo-ee, I knew you could do it, Ace! [Ace:] But chief! What about Stephanie? Your daughter! My girlfriend! [Chang:] Oh, she is dead in space rike I said. [Chief:] I’ve lost a daughter but gained a champion. [Ace:] At least she’s up with the angels now. [Lance:] In space? [Jacque:] THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE JUST ETERNAL FIRE (everyone else laughs)

100 Replies to “Game Program Attack! – Race Wars (Ep #5)”

  1. This video starts kinda slow but then picks up. This series has some promise to be as good as dick figures.

  2. This makes me want to play a racing game with a story mode where the racers talk during the race about stuff.

  3. There ARE Canadians who speak French… And like @teamrksaint said, he has that accent and that stereotypical "eh?" sound…

  4. So if they lose the race Canada get the US…. Does that mean the president betted our country on a minor unimportant race along with all of congress and the Senate??? Sounds like politicians.

  5. Jacque: Oh jeez losing control here guys

    *explosion*

    OH JESUS SHIT I'M BURNING ALIVE! THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE! THIS IS ONLY WAY I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE!

    Lance: Damn. Lin just made our boy extra crispy.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOLY SH*T I LAUGHED SO HARD! KEEP MAKING MORE OF THESE!

  6. It's not! We just don't have time to make 2 shows at once with our day jobs! Season 2 episode 1 of DB is already recorded!

  7. @Greatdictator That is a racist sterotype. How would you like it if people hate you because of your race?

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