Even More of the World’s Strangest Sports (feat. Bob Menery) – Lights Out with David Spade

Even More of the World’s Strangest Sports (feat. Bob Menery) – Lights Out with David Spade


We’ve talked a lot about
college and pro sports tonight. Now let’s take a trip
around the world to look at some
lesser-known athletes in Lights Out Sports Update. Bob Menery here. Welcome to the
Lights Out Sports Update. Bringing you stunning examples of athleticism
from around the globe. Our first story
takes us to Wales, or as it’s known
to the rest of the world, Scotland with a brain injury. The World Cup of
Bumming Out a Dog is underway. This poor pup has to be
a (bleep) clown and jump nine inches through
this dipshit’s hoop. Literally any dog can do that. Even a cat could pull it off. Hell, my dog Scooter
could clear that jump, and he lost three
of his legs in Vietnam. Well, this guy
is clearly moving the hoop, but no flag from the refs. This is the Tom Brady of dogs, because we all just watched
his owner cheat, and I guess we’re saying,
(bleep) it. Take a look at what’s going on
in New Zealand, a country that makes
the Old Zealand look like a wheelbarrow full
of hog shit. Check out this kid displaying
exceptional athleticism, while this goofy-ass horse just hangs out
and thanks horse Jesus that he isn’t being turned into
(bleep) glue. -Jesus, Magoo,
-(horse whinnies) somebody make her a goddamn
Avenger, pronto. And now we’re headed
to Alabama, so hide your (bleep) money
in your sock. Spade, I’m being told
that this is the final event of the domestic violence
decathlon. You’ve got this lady
being whipped around by the back
of a (bleep) riding mower. As is customary, we have the ceremonial jumping
of the rope, where two dipshits
from the crowd hop over it as it passes. Now, the game will continue until Bobbi Jo here
slides under the mower and gets Jamba Juiced
into a thick mist. And, finally,
we make our way to… how the (bleep)
do you pronounce this bullshit? Is that a real country, or did (bleep) Scrabble board
have an aneurysm? It’s full contact juggling between a couple of pussies. Call me when these chumps
are whipping chainsaws around. Did you see that, Spade? That douchebag just hit him
with his (bleep) bowling pin. It’s getting ugly
between these two knob goblins. And just like that, it is over. They’re hugging it out,
but the guy who lost is thinking,
“Choke on shit, needle dick. I know where you live.” That’s gonna wrap it up for tonight’s
Lights Out Sports Update. Back to you in the studio,
Spade. (cheering and applause) Well, that was nice, huh? Wow. That’s a lot of aggression. -SPADE: I know,
a lot is going on. -Oh, my God. -A lot in two minutes there.
-OSWALT: Yeah, yeah.

58 Replies to “Even More of the World’s Strangest Sports (feat. Bob Menery) – Lights Out with David Spade”

  1. Where are the BALLS??!!! Guy Sports always have BALLS!! because Guys Like Playing With Their Balls. !!! No Wonder There Was SO Much Aggression. There Were No BALLS Being Played With In These Sports! BALLS!! and wavin' their dicks around, too!!

  2. How about lights out on the awful laugh track! Who's the genius at Comedy Central that thought fake laughter equals ratings?!

  3. I love that, Jamba Juiced by the mower. I wish they made more crazy horror films like Final Destination where that crazy crap happened. Also, remember 1,000 Ways to Die?

  4. >combat juggling's not from @kyrgyzstan (*there's not nearly as many white ppl, as it shows in the video, there)…it's european (@EU &/or USA) ;
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Combat_(juggling)#Competition

  5. For the record I have never seen a full episode, but I watch the fuck out of the clips. why not post the entire thing?

  6. That Narrator is amazing, is what he says scripted off the cuff or a bit of both? Which ever way keep it up its hilarious.

  7. Ahhh, Menery, you gorgeous Sonofa Bitch, I owe you shot to the choad, you longitudinally challenged turd burgler

  8. Always nice when they throw in a Brady/NE cheating burn.

    On a side note: You know Spade is always going to have hot chicks around him. He doesn't care how stupid or tepid they are, as long as they look good.

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