Dark Souls 3 – The Lothric Olympics

Dark Souls 3 – The Lothric Olympics


Alright boys, this is it! The Lothric Otzlympic Games will officially begin. Welcome everybody to the most anticipated event Since the battle of the dumb builds tournament. Perhaps the most anticipated event ever in this stream The Lothric Olympics Now with the real- Oh please boys. Will you behave? Thank you. With the real World Olympics being an absolute shit-show It’s really going to be a challange to make something even worse than them But we are sure as hell going to try! These are our first brave contestants! Ready to tackle on the Olympic flame. Look at them. What a bunch of brave and fierce warriors. Our first game of today will be the Gesture Roulette! The most dangerous game in the entire….. …Whatever. In the Gesture Roulette The host, that is me, will perform a gesture.. ..And these fucking idiots have to imitate it. Whoever does it last gets shot into the abyss. So what gesture is it going to be? This one! “Quiet Resolve”. Yung Maestro locking it early! And now it’s down to Celo and Rotche_yalla! Who- Uh oh… I am sorry Roche! He has resigned to his fate. Huh. Well. This does make it a little bit less satisfying so let’s get [mumbling] Yeah. It’s a lot nicer when it’s close and personal this way. Alright! What will it be, what will it be? Uuuhm, the edgy one it is! Yung Maestro doing it early! Dancer of the Boreal Abyss doing i- Oh boy This is pretty c- Not wanting to shame his countrymen any further Our little Lord of Cinder just took the easy way out! Alright, boys. Le’ts see if you can – fool me on – This one! That was OH MY GOD You did the wrong one, you fool! Ooh.. He hum- whu? Well, Yung. Looks like by close disqualification you win! Congratulations. Go join the rest. Guys! Thank you UnbridledLight for the follow! Get ready! Cause we’re doing some fuckin’.. ..Dragon sitting, this time. Oh, nice! I’m sorry, Patokio! What!? He didn’t fall!? What is this transgression of the rule? Pope! The Pope brought down Patokio! Well done, Pope! And we’re doing the… “Silent Ally” I bet no one has this one! I am sorry Mr. Onion! I’m pretty sure he was still looking for it Alright, let’s go for a complicated one. The “Duel Bow”! AKA: shoving out your butt. Oh my god. Knight Nobs you got the wrong one! You fucking fool! Alright, It all comes down to The Pope and Rorik Savan Two long-ass stream followers! Well done, well done. Yup, yup. Well done. Now.. Rorik Savant just tried to throw a Alluring Skull into the pit? That is playing dirty, dude. Alright.. The “Patches Squat” it is! Oh my! The anticipation is killing me! Nicely done, but only one of you prevails! Oh my god. Pope! Jesus Christ, oh my g- OH WHAT? What was that!? What was that ju- Oh my god. You absolute idiot. Alright.. Let’s see what bunch of weirdos we got this time.. Thrall-Copter with the small head syndrom. Honestly, I really don’t know how he got past the drug testing. Fat Artorias wanna-be. Munching on those fucking Moss Fruits. And drinking his fuckin’.. Edgy Gundyr, I suppose? uh, Havel Armour wearer? Aaaand Lucatiel. Sorta’. Anyway, I don’t fuckin’ care anymore. Thank you for the follow Naisarias or something. Uh, Alright. How can we fuck these guys up? What’s a strange gesture, let’s see.. [Hums] [More humming] Mmyeee.. Let’s do th- Let’s do the classic. What are you trying to imply there!? Thrall-Copter you rebellious little shit! I knew it! No! NO! Don’t kill my C- You little- Fucker! So in this round.. We have a relatively normal line-up of people. Lakanus, the resident champion, being a fucking scrublord Is among the contestants so I’m expect some great shit to go down! Anyway. Let’s just “Strech Out”. How the FUCK Can you get that wrong!? You fucking dingus! He’s still doing it! [mumbling] you fucking, no no, don’t send me down Thank you, Lakanus. Jesus Christ, these pople just.. Get the Proof of Concord Kept and they just can’t stop buffing. Well, such is their curse. Anyway Let’s proceed, shall we? Next up is: the simple “Wave”! Should be easy enough. Uh oh, Lakanus. That is your farewell! And of course. Lakanus turned out to be a terrorist. Alright, let’s see what these message says “Aah, safe zone…” Not for them, nope. Anyway. Let’s get this fucking thing started. “By my sword”! What the fuck. NOT A SINGLE ONE DID IT RIGHT! This call for extraordinary measures! I am sorry, guys. You made me do this. Down you fucking go! No! No! Down you go! You fucking worthless pieces of shit! Four years practicing for what? He’s still on the edge! How is he still alive? How is he.. Holding up.. He’s clinging to life. Alright. I guess we will forgive him. Oh my god, this is the sadest fucking thing.. Let’s- Let’s do this, shall we? We’re gonna start with.. “Prostration”. Alright, sometimes you need a couple to get the job done! Bye bye! Vladimir. You are lucky you fucked up last. you survive this time. Now. For the next one. “Point up”! what the fuck. He’s back with a vengeance! I’m sorry, Vladimir. You little fucker! This fucking- Russians and their announcement dro- Hodrik! Please! Someone save me! Let’s do… The normal “Rest”. Classic. the fuck- whu? Thats- That’s not even the right one! Alright. One down, Three to go. What are you doing, Velocity? You’ve already finished building this stadium! Get back to fuckin’- participating in this, come on now. I’m sorry guys. This was not meant to be like this! Al -Fuckin- Right. wha- That didn’t- That didn’t need much enforcement, it just played itself! Well done, guys. Next up.. What!? God damnit, is this a- Oh my god! He had it calculated! That was fuckin’ brilliant! That was- that was some fucking suspense inducing moments. Alright. So next up, I guess.. We’re doing the “Toast”! Alright, everybody toast! Last one! He’s not reviving this time! Bye bye! Alright. Next up.. Is the.. Honourable Duel! I’m really looking forward to one of them just falling off. Alright, gotta get the thing done myself! Bye bye, Chuggernaut! What? He’s happy ebout this one? Cheeky little fuck. Alright. Seems like there’s a strong divide between these two! I don’t know dude, George has pretty big eyes so.. He must have an advantage! Alright, so for the final gesture: Let’s… Praise the Sun! HOLY SHIT! We have the first fucking tie in Olympic history! What the fuck, this has never happened! Holy shit, dude! You both share the fucking medal I am- I am fucking speechless, that was fucking amazing, dude! There really is no loser, only winner! This is the true Olympics- Oh my fucking god! I am sorry, this.. This is- this is.. Un-fucking-heard of! What an.. That is- That is truly amazing. The only fitting.. ..Ending for these two heroes is to just die together! Look at him fall! Only the best are in the Olympics this year! Alright! Enough! I have to find the real Otz! And I think the real Otz is… YOU! I found him! Kill him guys! Well done. This doesn’t look like Cactus. No, definitely doesn’t smell like him. This one’s too small for Cactus. Hmm.. Let’s see.. Doesn’t look right. This one seems nervous. Which could indicate that it’s cactus. But it’s precisely because of that That I KNOW it’s not cactus! It’s this one! This is cactus! uh oh. okay [Stuttering] I got it wrong, guys. But, I can- [Gasp] You fuck- [Stuttering] Now I’m pretty sure the one that isn’t moving, is cowering in fear So this has to be Solaire! uh oh I guess I was- No! no.. Alright, Ignitus. Become a box, now. Alright! Ignitus, I’ve got my fucking Otz-vision set on you! Go mix up! I’ve still got him, I’ve still got him.. Easy now.. Easy.. [Silently] Okay… Now let’s.. Do this real fucking quick and.. Yes, I’ve still- I think I still got him. I think I still got him.. that is him, alright. Alright! Now, now. Which one of you is Ignitus? It’s definitely not you, you’re spinning too much. Now these two are standing too still. That leaves only one possibility.. You are Ig- I knew it! It’s him guys! Catch him before he- I’ll take the other way. Oh boy They make quick work of him! Okay. That’s it, boys. Go! Well done. Where is he? Still got him. Still kind of got him.. Still got him Still got him! Alright! That’s quite enough! Form your ranks. Alright. So if my sight hasn’t failed, I mean, it usually doesn’t I would say… That out of all these five beautiful Phantoms.. The only white one.. Gale, is.. THIS ONE, right here! oh shit! That didn’t take long! Oh, fuck! What is going on? What the hell..? It’s useless, guys. Having a normal – Otzdarva stream.. It just- It just can’t happen! It just.. Nice try, you fucking idiot! Alright, boys. I hope you are ready for the first round of The Chicken Run! Of the Lothric 2016 Olympics. In this shooting roster we have: What appears to be the Member representing Germany, Casual Hitler. And.. Well. There’s also a few unnamed contestants and the classic George. Thank you Celarii, for the follow! Now, let’s get this started, shall we? The chicken run has begun! The chicken is free! Aim well, my friends! Hitler is going for a vantage spot- Ooh the chicken! It delayed that coming out! But is that going to be enough? Looks like he’s halfway done! But it wont be easy for him.. That was a close one! He’s gona make it! He’s gonna make it at this rate, boys! Come on! And he made it! Well done, brave chicken! Jesus Christ, guys we’re fuckin’ te- How are you happy!? Yeah, that’s more like it. And where was Hitler, in the meantime? (HEY!) Guess we’ll never know. Otzdarva, Lol! Come on! How can you keep missing? Alright, I’ll get him when he’s least expecting it. NO! George! He made it! God damnit. We are not doing well, guys. But hey.. Well done to our brave chicken. New rules! ‘Cause this is too easy. And for the drop.. Just make it between here.. ..And here. That’ll be more exciting. Alright. You know what they say boys. Third time’s the charm, we’ve learned from our mistakes. And there’s also a new rule: They can’t get out of our field of view now. You ready for this one? It’s gonna come.. Come on, that.. almost got some.. Yeah! Fucking rolls in this game, man! Well done, boys! Gate coming up! Archers ready! And there goes my shot! Ooh, hit an invisible box there! Woah! What a bold strategy! He’s actually using the Artorias-flip weapon art to get past everybody! What the hell!? This is fucking unheard of- where’d he- We almost lost him, boys! And..! Oh my god! It really payed off for him! And he’s not gonna give up on his winning strategy! Oh my! Aw, but only.. Only a few meters away did he actually.. (HEY) ..Meet his end. How amazing. Well done, Cepesh. Guys! Help me out! This guy didn’t get past the drug tests- That’s what you get. Hey! That was enough, wasn’t it? Oh, shit! (HEY!) Looks like it already started! Alright, boys (Thank you!) Oh, okay. He’s starting over again. That’s great. Oh no! What have you done, you monsters!? Why are you celebrating, he wasn’t even out of there yet! Noo.. (Help me!) Poor little chicken! He never made it. Nev- You guys are savages, did you know that? Go, go ,go! (HEY!) We’re all ready now. Aww, could it be? Is he a tiny little bit afraid? Ah, no. I think it’s happening boys! Holy shit! Oh my g- That was cruel! You fuck him up before he even fucking came out of the cage! Oh. Well done! Alright, boys. Stop shooting me. And get your sight On the next chicken coming out of the cage, right now. Oh shit, where’s my arrows? ..There we go. Alright. Time for a perfect shot.. It’s gonna go right- Ooh.. That was sad- No! You little shit Oh my god This guy doesn’t stand a chance. Look at how many arrows he has on him! He’s an arrow-magnet. Alright. If my calculations are right I should get him right around.. Why is he running back!? You heard it, guys! Fuckin’ backsteps in this game is the best! Okay, here we go! “i_have_kan_sir” Thank- Oh my god, these fucking puns. Alright, I’ll get him myself. It’s the only way. OH BOY! what a shot! (HEY!) Tell them Otzdarva sends his regards! That one will sends him pretty fast to chicken-heaven, If I do say so myself. Okay, gate opening up! Chicken coming out. Arrow going in. Let’s get another masterful shot, guys. Oooh! I think I got him right in the heel! I’m getting good at this! Bye bye! Yeesh, that was close. We need to catch him when he’s casting it! I’ve got the timing down, I think. I think he’ll be running out of it by the time he’s past the carts. Oh my god! He’s firing.. Lasers! They’re stepping up their projectile game! What’re you gonna do about that Patokia? Shit! He’s gonna cast it again! Fuck, he was sma- What are they doing- Oh, they fell! Well, they can’t shoot if they’re not on the carriage, so.. Hurry up, boys! I’ll slow down Petokia. Holy shit! Uh.. I don’t think thats right.. Holy shit, he’s been able to- Has Petokia developed the winning strategy? Can nothing get through That Havel’s Shield with a fucking spell on? Oh my god He’s gone through Hell and back! Got him! Alright.. There! Fuck. How the hell.. How is he making it this far!? Oh my god Look at him rolling back! Oh my god, he took more than- Guys, that was a little bit excessive, don’ you think? Oh, they’re happy nonetheless. Well, Patokia you have taken Far more than any chicken deserves! To play the game already! Jesus Christ Is there any chance we can get to play!? That’s it. We are never playing anymore! “Lostin” I’m sorry, I don’t know what you signed up for, but.. You god damned weirdos! Toxic!? What!? [Stuttering in disbelief] How did I get toxic’d? Let me look at the bucket there. What!? Again!? What is going on? The fuck? I feel a presence here, boys. Alright. Doesn’t matter. I’ll carry the Olympic spirit! I’m the chicken this time! Come at me, you fuckers! Backstep into roll! Into… Backstep! Into roll What the hell, I’m listening to some weird shit. Alright. Come on now! Step it up! (Very Good!) Wowoh, Come on, this is fucking piss easy. Get it together, guys! And now! For the..! We did it! We carried the flame! Very well! It’s on, boys! The Jousting Tournament of the Lothric Olympics 2016! It’s on. I want fair play here, okay? So, weapon art only, no shield. What exactly are they doing? How is he not falling off? Damn, this display of skill is.. What the fu- Thats no skill That’s fucking lagg right there! Holy shit, he got hit a week afterwards! Oh my god! Looks like they’re gonna continue their fight in the afterlife! Bye bye! Looks like our friend has gone for the classic greatlance A jousting classical and- Oh boy! That was a good one! Well done! Fucking George He’s looking mighty cute in his knight attire! Change of rules! No rolling! ‘Cause knight can’t roll without breaking their fukin’ Uh, I don’t know. Leg or something. Yeah. So, same as before. But this time no rolling, only walking. Alright now this is gonna be intresting- LOOK AT THIS MAN The determination is off the charts! I mean, with that big head? He clearly has the fucking advantage! Oh my! It seems like.. The edgelord here is.. Just completely overencumbered, look! Holy shit, this is tense. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen! I don’t think there’s been a joust.. ..Just as tight and close as this one. Oh, and they’re getting out of our f- S.. Little sights, but no matter! We’ll get to it. Well, that’s one way to end it. And Silver is.. Really close to falling there! But manages to save the day. [Prism Stone screeches] That was unexpected Well done, Silver! What the fuck? huh, nice. Looks like I can sit and watch the games now. Alright, Silver! Show the newcomer who’s boss! Ugh, please now. Buffing wont help you- He’s using the regular R1s? Filthy cheater! Silver, defend your title! No! What the fuck? You filthy. Fucking. Cheater! Give me back my champion! I was gonna sell him to the circus! Oh wait, I can still survive! You go. You’re gonna fight against me. Oh my god.. I like where this is doing. I like where this is going very much Let’s go Patokia! You and I. Mrrancor, thank you for the follow, you will be.. The first witness to my glory. Alright, Patokia! Your body might be smaller But that doesn’t mean I’ll miss, or no it doesn’t. Oh wow, that’s quite.. That’s quite excessive.. That’s enough. Yeah as I was saying. You might have a smaller body, but my godlike accuracy will get you! Let’s go! Way to go, Patokia! You gave me the fight of a lifetime! You fucking idiot! (Heey~) Alright, friends! We have been reunited We have been reunited today In the Catacombs to play The most boring ass game you will ever fucking witness Uh, Prop Hunt. Aka: “Hide And Seek”, AKA: “Otz Wanders Around For Five Hours And Doesn’t Find Anybody”. Go, my children! And hide properly. Otz will be looking at the concer, uh I mean The corner and.. yeah. The corner. And counting to… ..What happened to my feet just now? What the fuck? Yeah I’ll be counting to fucking- What the hell? Patokio, please. I’m not gonna look back, so you have full advantage and I can just fucking enjoy the hilarity of what’s going on with my leg right now. But yeah. M’key, looks like they’re gone. One. Two. Three. Four, five, seven. Eight, ten. Let’s go! What if there’s someone down he- Oh fuck, skeleton, please! Not to the true bottom, mind you. Lets’ pretend.. We didn’t see that pot move at all. Oh? What would this be? If it isn’t our..Fuckin’ red headed.. Fuckin’.. Where are you running off to? Look at him! So cute. Aww, TOO BAD! Time to die! Alright, you know what to do. No! Death! That’s right. You too. Go join ’em. WHAT? I got parried!? Oh my god.. That is the sadest thing! You thought this fucking weapon Couldn’t get any worse? These fucking skeletons, man. OneTwoThreeFourFiveSixSeven Let’s go. Alright. Nothing escapes the light! That we.. That we just collected in our Olympic torch. Let’s go find this fucking Id- OH my fucking… You’ve gotta be shitting me, man. How am I supposed- This is getting rediculous, guys. Alright. Sorry, George. Nothing personal. What? His head doesn’t have a hitbox? Get the fuck down there! You’re gonna hurt yourself, George! I’m really concered for you at this point. And that’s why I’m gonna fucking fire greatarrows at you until you fall the fuck down. Come on! What a way to go! Well done, George. Truly the master of hiding. Aha, this is one of them! Fuck, I’m not gonna live to tell the tale! Where’re you going? Lucas, you scumbag! Fuck, Don’t let me, do- look at this guy! God damnit! Hang.. Hang on a minute. I don’t remember I don’t remember seeing Anri here! You brilliant bastard! Nice try! Holy shit, that was pretty good! Oh my god! I’m not even mad, that was pretty nice. Well done, Patokia! Hey! No! You don’t go find Horace now! You fucking asshole, come back here! [stutters] Is he weraring the reversal ring just to fuckin’ move like a girl? That is some commitment to the cosplay, dude. Oh my god. What the fuck? Alright. The search continues. Well done. Now- whu, HEY! The Nameless Knight! You little shit! You die now. Okay. This is.. This is just A regular, big headed skeleton of the Catacombs, guys! Nothing to see here! I almost missed him, that’s the funny part! He’s so fucking- He blends so nicely with the enviroment. Oh my god. That is amazing. So we took care of Patokia, George, and also the nameless guy. OH MY GOD! You..! Oh my! That is fucked u- How’d you even get there!? And what i- What is this? I found them both! I am. I am the best at this! And now.. I just put the Carthous Rouge o- No, NO! You ruined it. Terra, you absolute idiot. This.. I believe is truly my Magnum Opus in this Olympics. This, my friends, is the Fight Club. The first rule of the fight club is: You do NOT talk about the fight club. The second rule to the fight club is: If you do talk about the fight club, please just keep it to your close friends and associates. Third rule of the fight club: ONLY two at a time. Th- Fourth or fifth, or whatever rule we’re at: We play inside the Dark Wraith arena. The aim of the fight club is To Parry-the-DarkWraith three times. Whoever parries the Dark Wraith three times first wins! Whoever doesn’t, or whoever dies, loses. Are you guys, ready? Alright! Let the show begin! Uh, Dark Wraith, you okay there? The fuck!? Ah, there you go! He was just preparing his strategy! Fuck! Nice try, Patokia! New Game+++, baby! Oh man.. He beat Patokia, but will he beat the Dark Wraith? Clearly not. Well done, my brave Dark Wraith, you bested them both! George! Why are you feeling discouraged? What’s the matter? This should be pretty easy! Next up! The Pope vs George! OOH! George landed one, nice! Absolutely no riposte, well done. Oh, be careful George! One more hit and you’re toast! You can’t parry that! Get outta the way! Ohh, George is absolutely out of the competition! How fucking heartbreaking. Now it’s up to Chieftain and the POPE. And Chieftain isn’t doing much better, mind you! Will anyone ever beat this? This is gonna get interesting, let’s summon more people Alright, looks like POPE is using some mighty force to get his opponents attention! What is he doing? That was not the best attempt. Chieftain is waiting his chances Waiting for the right moment to strike! And POPE is not doing so hot! Kicked your fucking.. Teeth kicked in.. Nice! Alright! Dark Spirit Child joins the fight While our Chieftain here is not doing so well. And he is just a mere hit away! Oh boy! This is fucking better than I expected! That is amazing! Alright, Dark Wraith! You’re doing very well! Make quick work of this guy now! Watch out for those wide swings! Two hits and you’re fucking d- Holy fuck! That is amazing. Look at them, they’re both- Oh, nice! Alien pulls of one parry of the required three to win this competition! Aw, but that’s about it, as he gets fucking slashed! This is amazing! Ooh, someone using a stealthy little sorcery sneaky, sneaky! Come on, all of you go at it! What’s the worst that could happen- Holy Shit! He’s- He’s just- Oh my fucking go- What the fuck!? Even the NPCs in these streams are hackers! This is taking it too far! Come on, guys! Parry the Dark Wraith! Success of killing has gone to the top of his head! Holy shit, look at those combos! Oh my god, don’t let him catch you! Or you’re gonna be fucking history. Oh my god! Hitting reds left and right! And fucking child is just there in the- What the hell? Beef sandwich is indeed.. Sandwich material at this point. Next up is Cepesh. Oh baby, we came here just in time to see the Dark Wraith suck the life out of someone! And it- Oh my God! A second victim! Holy shit! He’s on a fucking streak right there! He just killed him! And now he’s gonna kill me! Holy shit, this guy is a badass! He’s literally unstopable! We’ve gone through, what? Ten guys now? And he’s fucking- He’s fucking destroyed them all! Holy shit, look at him! He’s already- He’s already in his spot Looking at the spot the next invader will appear at! Bye bye, Beardshark. Holy shit, Patokia. Be careful! He hadn’t even spawned yet and he’s nearly dead! Holy shit! Nice try, Patokia! We can’t be too close, It would be extremely dangerous, guys. So, We’re gonna have to watch from a distance. Oh my god, watch out Ce- NICE! One parry for Patokia! Two parries for Patokia! What is this!? Holy shit, the third one! We got a winner! Well done, Patokia! You take the gold! Holy shit! Nice! Well fucking done! That was absolutely reckl- Oh my god! That was amazing, dude! Yeah, dude. That was.. Fucking great! Oh, OH! Co- Can Cepis- get, Get two more parries? What is he doing healing? Alright, let’s see if Patokia can replicate his fucking success. Alright, Patokia, you can leave now. Alright, let’s watch this. What are you doing backstabbing? You little shit! Thats what you get. Nice! Patokia has got this down, sorta! What are you doing healing!? Ugh, fuck. I’m gonna have to.. Alright, lt’s see how you do it now. Hey, Patokia, that’s cheating, man! You got him on a loop! Thats not fair! ‘Ey, Jack! Thank you so much. Hey, Patokia, you can leave now. You’ve done well. No, absolutely no fucking healing. Ooh, partial parry, nicely done, Lamp! Be careful, now. holy fuck that move’s fast. Don’t get too cocky or the Dark Wraith will parry you! Oh, fuck, what was that? Patokia, after obtaining victory really has nothing better to do with his life. So he’s not gonna let that fact get in the way of his success. Bye bye, Patokia. Well done! Oh my god, he nearly gets fucking.. ..split in half. Alright guys, we’re gonna have a new rule. In this next round. Now you are perfectly allowed to hit each other And make your lives impossible. Remember: you are competing, so backstabbing uh, throwing knives, you name it. Against other players is perfectly okay. Not again the Dark Wraith, though. GHOSTAPO, thank you so much for the follow. Neutralss, you too. Siv lands a partial parry! But a parry, nonetheless! He also hel- Oooh! That a sh- And another one! Ooh nice, looks like the fellow reds are taking his advice seriously! The advice of fucking hitting each other, that is Well done! Looks like the Dark Wraith is siezing up his opponents.. before all hell breaks loose. Go, Dark Wraith! Fuck them up! Is he wearing- the absolute madman He’s using fucking oh my god, Iron Flesh- Oh shit! That is fucking amazing, dude. Oh no, don’t fall! Our champion just fucked up. Alright, you fools. Look at this guy! So confident in his approach. He’ll probably die first. Anyway. Good luck with that, you losers. I’ll be watching from my little spot. Oh, nice try! And half his health is gone. I told you this guy was gonna die first! Look at that fucking sidestepping, backstep. Ooh, fucking called it. One down, no parries yet. Holy fuck. The Dark Wraith is b- Nice! War pulls of one p- And even his opponent is clapping! Nice! Oh, that was telegraphed as shit come on, Dark Wraith. You can do better than this. One to one! This guy is not gonna be taking many more hits. Be careful, War. This guy packs a mean punch. And he has some really fucking quick attacks that you can’t even fucking see coming. Ooh, he’s nearly dead! And that was the end of him. We got a new, brave Thrall! Ready to take on the Dark Wraith. I give him one minute at most. Look, I wouldn’t do that gesture if I was you Last time someone did it It didn’t go very well for him. Look at that footwork, though. This guy seems fuckin (HEY!) seems pretty skilled! Who’s calling us? (Hey!~) Hel- What the hell is Eeehh, I should stop looking Oh, that scream! Be careful, now! Nice! Come on guys, don’t make it easy for him! Attack each other, make it fucking hard! This is a competition! A random arena bo- Ooh nice! He pulls of one parry! Arena Boss, please. You have to be naked! Ooh, that scream! One more hit and you’re out of this! Ooh, he’s about to be hit, though! And Arena Boss is fucking invincible. Why is he covering himself with the shield!? He’s fucking invincible! Alright, since it’s very clear that you’re all little bitches I guess its only fair that it’s five of you now. More competition, more fun. I guess. Anyway, it’s on. Fucking.. Give me a good entertainment, Gods already takes two hits and nothing to show for it! Let us see how this proceeds. Well done, Lakanus. Way to embarras yourself. And George takes a hit, too! Be careful, you muncher. Oh my god. Looks like the Dark Wraith is having a little issue navigating the arena. Alright, no one has- No one has landed a fucking parry on this guy, yet. Come on, guys! You can do better than this! Or maybe you can’t. Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Looks like someone has turned into a dragon. Oh, nice try. the fuck? Bye bye, George. One down, four to go. That fucking disgraceful parry spam, Celo That will not take you far. Alright, so we got a new contestant in! And a new contestant out. I guess his Guts spilled open! Ooh, nice! That’s the second parry for Celo! Who’s using this- I was gonna say that was a brave one, but Sometimes being too reckless is the quickest way to die in this gamemode. Got another dragon in! And immediately another dragon out. By the looks of it, be careful dragon! Throwing shit at the Dark Wraith? This is a new approach. Holy shit, look at that fucking running attack this guy is out for blood! (HELLO!) Yeah, I don’t think having a nice conversation with the Dark Wraith is really gonna uh, soothe his smothering instincts. Come on, you bunch of pussies! No one has landed a parry yet! This is disgraceful. Traver Philips, just arriving and he’s almost ready to leave. Oh, please, Please, Dark Wraith! First one to get three parries wins! Fuck them up, dude! Look at these casuals wearing fucking Master’s Attire so they get less damage. Don’t you think I didn’t notice! Fucking casuals. The Dark Wraith knows he’s gonna fuck you up, right- Look at that. Oh my god, Josef Stalin has no chance. Grab one of them, dude! Fuckin- Aw, shit! Not me, not me, I’m your friend! A partial parry for Stalin! And a parry by Kappa, I think! someone even went for the fuckin’ riposte, that is cheeky. And the Dark Wraith never forgets! Well done, you fool! Now Ooh, Lakanus- WOAH don’t do that Lakanus! Noo! Oh my god! He was so young! GG, Lakanus! You absolute moron! Alright, three down! I mean, two down – three to go. Oh my god, this is amazing! Bye bye, Kappa. Now it’s down to Stalin and the Jailer. Charleston, be careful! He narrowly avoided death right t- Stalin pulled off one of them! Nice! Stalin has one parry, two to go! And he’s gonna die before he lands the second one- Second parry for Stalin, Jesus Christ! This has.. He killed it!? Y-You killed the Dark Wraith! Where’s my- Where’s my hammer and sickle!? I’m gonna show this fucking cunt the meaning of communism. Don’t you worry, we’re gonna spread out- Nuh- yeah, we’re gonna spread out the pain You killed Stalin? And now you do a fucking.. Nope. You’re as bad as him! Come right here! And now he’ll try to parry. And backstab! Fucking idiot. Oh my god. WHAT!? We got a new Dark Wraith! What the fuck!? When did this guy even invade!? And how is he so smooth? What the fuck? This is amazing! Oh my god! My fuc- Oh my god he just synchronised j- Just what the hell!? Holy shit this guy is- This guy is a living God! This is amazing! And the timing couldn’t be better! Holy shit! G fucking G He just completely stole the fucking spotlight. Jesus Christ that was amazing! Oh my god, look at this guy! He has all the qualifications! Oh my god I didn’t know I needed him in my life so badly until now! Hey, Patukia Nice try, but your name isn’t even Dark Wraith. This guy just fucking just fucking shcooled you. Alright, boys. You know what to do. Go get them! What the hell, who’s Patokia fighting? The Shredder? Oh he’s invisible. Okay. Oh wow, this guy was a Mad Spirit. That is amazing dude, Dark Wraith fucking GG. That fucking entrance was just the best thing that’s ever happened! uh, WeevilSurprising. I’ll have you know I am extremely ugly. So ugly that I am actually proud of it, so. Everybody get on the- You fucking… [Desk abuse]

100 Replies to “Dark Souls 3 – The Lothric Olympics”

  1. 50:39 Patokia is cinder-flip hacker. DISQUALIFIED!!! Strip him of his Common Fruit!! That prize should go to a REAL athlete! >;8]'

  2. 20:55
    http://rule34-data-012.paheal.net/_images/c1f583b10eeca91de3c986876d8b090d/1153923%20-%20Dark_souls%20Gwynevere%20Lord%27s_blade_Ciaran%20gray_bear.jpg

  3. LIES! You can actually do backflips etc even in plated knight armor…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-bnM5SuQkI

  4. One of the most creative Souls videos I've watched, and I laughed my ass off. Keep up the great content. Subscribed.

  5. Funniest part is at the beginning where the thrall hood guy just walked forward and did the point down then hit everyone off the edge. The whole video was great but that part was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen.

  6. do you still stream ds3 stuff like this on twitch? I just added you and would love to see one of these live! haha

  7. you should have a lothric knight dragging contest. Kill the 2 next to dancer's gate and see who can drag their knight to vordt's gate first.

  8. 9:45 So you got rapped by the one you were trying to kill ? seems like there was some wandering dark hands.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *