CGR Undertow – ROCK ‘N RACING OFF ROAD review for Nintendo Wii U

CGR Undertow – ROCK ‘N RACING OFF ROAD review for Nintendo Wii U


Hey, gaming industry. You know what you need? Actually, we don’t have enough time to go
over everything you need. But one of them is an attitude adjustment, and the other one
is more retro top-down racing games, like this one. Only if you could make ‘em better this one,
that would be great. Come on, please? It’s Rock ’n Racing Off
Road, for the Nintendo Wii U. So obviously, I’m a fan of these games.
Which is probably the reason we don’t see more of these games. Whatever, gaming industry,
you just keep doing what you’re doing, everyone’s real impressed, with all your stupid brown
shooters. So obviously, when I downloaded this freaking thing, I was pretty stoked.
I mean, look at this, it’s a top-down racing game. And there’s color, and fun, and local multiplayer. Yeah, and the worst physics since that day
Bill Nye went to work drunk. Freaking, Bill Nye swillin’ rye. Anyway, speaking of drunk scientists, this
is a retro top-down racing game. You push A to accelerate, use the directions to steer
and boom—you’re off to the races. You have four cups, each with four tracks…as
well as a time trial for each of those tracks, and multiplayer for five players. Simple package
for a simple game with simple gameplay, that’s awesome. And it almost is. As long as you don’t crash, not even once.
Which is kind of like real driving, actually. It’s enjoyable and everything, but then
oh, you crash into one old lady and the party’s over. So before I get depressed, let’s talk about
what the game gets right, ‘cause there’s actually a bunch of stuff it gets right. For
starters, I love the look. Everything’s bright and colorful, and it’s almost got
this toy-like quality to it, looks great. And actually, if you look closely, you can
also see these tiny people on some of the tracks, they almost look pixelated… And whether that’s deliberate or by accident,
it creates an awesome contrast to the game’s otherwise 3D look. Now, I’d like a bit more
variety, in terms of the locations of the tracks… But all in all, the graphics and sound are
well done. Of course, the highlight of the game is by
far the multiplayer. You play this thing with five other people, and it’s almost impossible
not to have fun with it. Even though the game seems to try to prevent that from happening,
but nonetheless, it’s fun despite itself. There’s a certain chaos to these races that’s
kind of just inherent to the genre, but it’s always fun. And in fact, if you’re looking for some
great multiplayer games that are simple enough for everyone to be able to just jump right
in…well, Rock ’n Racing Off Road is one of them. Or at least…it’s almost one of them. See, there are a couple problems that really
hold this thing back. And the first one, as we alluded to earlier…are the physics. The
entire game’s, just…it’s way too slidey. It’s kind of like you’re driving on the
moon, or something. It doesn’t matter if you’re taking a turn, or hitting a ramp…you’re
going to slide all over the place. And not even slide. You’re going to tumble, and bounce, and
roll, and generally defy the laws of gravity, or at the very least, gravity as it exists
here on Earth. The only person that’ll tell you this is how gravity works is, again, if
Bill Nye is completely f*cking wasted. I mean, cool dude… Not a great advisor for a racing game. And what all that means, unfortunately, is
that if you crash…you’re probably screwed. I mean, there’s no margin for error. And
the worst part is, when someone does finish, the rest of the cars are on a timer. If you
don’t finish before time’s up, you’re counted out and you get no points for that
round. Which means it’s going to be almost impossible to win the cup. Which makes the rest of it pointless. Oh, and if you try to restart, it restarts
the entire cup. So. That’s great. Oh, and you know what else? When I say “the
entire cup?” I mean, literally, there’s like one entire cup, in this entire game.
All four cups have the same four tracks, only they might change the obstacles, or reverse
the direction…but they’re mostly, pretty much, kind of the same four tracks. Which
isn’t the worst part. The worst part is that the America Cup includes Canada, Brazil…hey,
Rock ’n Racing Off Road. Those places aren’t America. Don’t apologize to me, apologize to America. And then apologize to me. ‘Cause these physics
are the worst. If you broke down this review, like, lap by
lap…that would be a pretty weird thing to do. But you would get some pretty interesting
results. You’d find that, on one lap, this game was hauling ass and burning gas, baby.
But then on the next lap, it crashes into a tire. Like, one tire. Then, it’s back
on track and chirping brodies, whatever that means… And then it crashes into a tire. Like, one tire. That’s the story of this
game. With tighter controls and some more content, this might’ve been a great retro
racer. Unfortunately, it’s got neither of those things. Apparently, you can’t find
those things on the moon. It’s Rock ’n Racing Off Road, for the Wii U.

42 Replies to “CGR Undertow – ROCK ‘N RACING OFF ROAD review for Nintendo Wii U”

  1. Someone just needs to remake the old Ivan Stewart's Super Off Road game for the current generation of systems.  

  2. Canada IS in America, and Brazil is in South America… What's not "America" about that?
    Now, if they said "The USA cup" and included Canada and Brazil, then you'd be right to complain…
    It's kinda like including France and Spain in a "UK cup", makes no sense…

  3. Canada and Brasil are in America,

    America are three continents, if you are from USA, your countrys name is USA, US os America, not America itself

  4. To be fair to Derek, I think the America Cup should have been called the Americas Cup since it covers both American continents, and it would have alleviated confusion.

  5. during i was seeing the review, the strangest thing that i noticed isn't the very strange physic in fact,, but,, there's no way to know which car derek drive!!
    so,, it's a five players game,,, but there's no way to know which car belong to which player, i think it's not convenient at all,,, especially for a MULTI-PLAYERS game

  6. Canada and Brazil are not in America? One is in North America, just above the USA, and the other  one is on the other side of the American Continent, in the South America…

  7. Well… Derrick… Canada is actually a part of the continent "America". The United States is a country, not "America". America is a continent. 

  8. America is the whole continent. If the the population was actually american, they wouldn't be guarding the boarders. 

  9. Usa people are soo stupid lol they don't know about the America continent:) they think usa is call America lol haha t

  10. Theres a good number of top down racers that came out on Steam last year, you should totally check them out, much higher quality than this….game

  11. I'm starting to just watch your videos to find out if I should play a game or not – I name dropped you in a Nintendo eShop review for the reason I got Hyrule Warriors two days ago.  So yeah.

  12. brazilians are brazilians canadians are canadians. americans are people from the u.s since when do people say "americans" when referring to anyone other than people from the united states….?????

  13. Derek, go try Fuel Overdose on PS3 its a decent and tight overhead racing game with lots of attitude and cool presentation.

  14. when i was a kid i use to love rc pro am..  id like a updated version done right , you hear me nintendo! heh.

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