ADAM’S MAGIC WAND – Demo Disk Gameplay

ADAM’S MAGIC WAND – Demo Disk Gameplay

//Bruce: T-there’s a bunch of – there’s a bunch of – //Bruce: Woah! You can move it back and forth? //Adam: This is pretty cool.
//James: “Hello, it is me.” //Bruce: Xbox 3 – //James: “Xbox!” //James: We need a new character. //James: Don’t we need – //James: – we need a new animatronic character.
//Bruce: We do, we do. //Adam: BOXY! //Boxy: HEY I’M BOXY! //Boxy: PS3 IS FOR [email protected]#$%^S! //James: Can you get that?
[laughing] [laughing] //Adam: There it is. //Bruce: What is it? //James & Bruce: Xbox World! //James: Look at this creepo on it though. //Adam: I think it’s Baraka. //Adam: Yeah, I- I can get it. //Bruce: It’s like frisbee! //Adam: Okay, hold on. //James: Sorry, I won’t touch it. //James: Look, I’m not touching it. //Bruce: Wow! //Bruce: That’s amazing!
//James: And if they can’t see, I didn’t do that. //Bruce: That’s like a magic trick. //Adam: You guys will have to believe us, take our word for it. //Adam: When we hit the button, the Xbox tray closes. //Boxy: NOM Nom NoM nOm NOM //Adam: How do they get them next to those real cars? //Bruce: Are those real cars? //Adam & James: No! //Bruce: Wait a minute! They’re CG?! //James: Xbox demo disk-makers put way more effort into it than PC demo disks. //Bruce: They really did. [very real coughing] //James: Let’s check the news! //Adam: Whoa, hold on. [wheezing Bruce] //Bruce: James was right on – //Adam: I wanted to- I just want to make sure there are demos on here. //Bruce: Of course there are! Doom 3, Black Hawk Down, Juiced, Area 51, Psychonauts, Darkwatch! //James: PSYCHONAUTS? //James: We just watched this. //Adam: It’s like a DVD menu? //Bruce: Hold on. //James: Action not available. //James: Stop this, why are we here? //Adam: I don’t think this is a demo disk. I think it’s just a DVD of- //James: It’s Xbox World!
//Bruce: No, it’s a demo disk //Bruce: We gotta go to news! //James: You gotta check the news! //Adam: This- this was authored on iDVD. You know this. //James: Is this news? //Bruce: Yeah, remember when 50 Cent made a game? //James: But they’re not telling us anything. //James: I do. He made two games. //Bruce: I remember when there was a time I thought Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson was going to take over the music world. //Adam: What?
//James: He did!
//Bruce: The acting world. //Adam: He was in Moonlight, he looked amazing.
//Bruce: The video game world. //Bruce: I thought he was going to do- oh he’s in Moonlight?
//James: No no no no no. //James: Adam’s a racist. //Adam: Oh. //Adam: Was that not him? //James: Oh my god. //Adam: He looked like him. //James: Oh, more news. //Adam: Oh. //Bruce: JoWooD! //James: Look, he did it. //Adams: This is not news. These are trailers. //James: They meant NEWS as in NEW mul – plural. //James: These are the NEW’S! //Bruce: Oh, new games. NEW’S! //Bruce: They call them NEW’S! //James: Yeah, NEW plural! //Bruce: That does make sense. I understand that from a demo disk point of view. //Adam: Oh, Dead Rights 2.
//James: Dead Rights! //Adam: That was when he got a dog. //James: Wasn’t it just Dead 2 Rights? //Adams: No, it was Dead to Rights 2.
//James: Oh, it’s Dead to Rights 2. //Bruce: Oh, did you see that hot fairy? You guys missed it cuz it was going so fast. //James: There could be porn in this we wouldn’t know. //James: Oh, look at his walk cycle!
//Bruce: His walk cycle! //James: Looks like Adam playing 1-2-Switch! //James: Break this. //Bruce: Why? //Adam: Because there’s no games on it. //Bruce: There are lotsa games! There’s Doom 3! //James: Shut up, Xbox! //Bruce: “Put a- put a disk in me! Put a disk in me!” //Bruce: Oh yes. //James: That looks real sweet! //Adam: Show the kids. //Bruce: The Pewdiepie Resist The Nazi Invasion Game! //Adam: Winston? What are you doing? //James: Just call him Mr. Churchill. //Bruce: I told you. This is Resist the Nazi Invasion. //James: Killed in New York City?! //Bruce: No – //Bruce: No! //James: An alternate reality where Winston Churchill dies- I don’t care. //Bruce: They spelled aggressive wrong, I think? //James: Let’s just assume it was right. //Bruce: Alright. //James: Oh no. //Bruce: Wasn’t it the Reich? //Adam: The Third Rye-sh! //Bruce: This is a weird alternate dimension. //Bruce: That- that’s Stalin, okay. //James: Yeah. //James: You can’t win a battle on two fronts, Hitler! //Adam: Watch! //Bruce: You tryin to help him out for the future? //James: Hitler, NO! //Adam: Playable demos? //James: They don’t even have that game. //Adam: Half-Life 2: Episode 2! Kane and Lynch? //James: Half-Life 3!? //Bruce: Wait- what about the Nazi- //James: Where’s the resistance game? //Adam: My guess is they just sponsored it. //James: Oh noooo. //Adam: Ooh, where do we want it? //James: I’m telling ya, always put it on the memory unit that way you can take it on the go. //Bruce: Yeah. //Adam: No, that’s built in to the machine though. //Adam: There’s no memory card. //Bruce: Yeah, it’s one of the newer Xbox 360s from 2008. //Adam: Look at his face. //James: Warrior or Mage? //Bruce: Hold on, do you like melee or magic? //Adam: Yes. //James: I was just gonna say, you have to choose between literal might and literal magic. //James: I wanna be a wizard, but who’s jacked. //Bruce: You could do that. //Adam: That’s fine. //James: That never happens. //James: Where they have a jacked wizard so he’s like, he’s like, “I’m gonna do a fire spell after I knock you out!” //Bruce: Harry Potter? He’s jacked. //James: That’s true. He was pretty jacked. //Bruce: Tonks? She had cool hair and she was jacked.
//James: Yeah. Sure. //Bruce: And a witch. //James: And Ginny? Ginny was jacked. She used to put walnuts down and crunch them with her chin. //Bruce: I remember seeing that in the movie. //James: Yeah. They did that. No magic necessary. That’s just might. //Adam: “Sup Harry bruh? Wanna see me crack a walnut?” //Bruce: Why did he say it so – so dramatically? //Bruce: “Climb on my cock!” //James: “Slide it between your thighs!” //Bruce: Nice, look at those moves with that sword. //James: Oh, Adam, please.
//Adam: What?
//Bruce: You’re gonna throw it right down. //James: Adam, c’mon, they’re still alive! //Bruce: No, that guy was dead. //Adam: That’s horse food. //Bruce: That’s what he said. //Bruce: “He was dead! That guy was dead!” //Adam: Cool, rope bow. //James: Rope Bow. //Adam: Grab my rope. //Bruce: Oh, it was a rope bow. //Adam: And a relic. //James: Nice. Good find. //Bruce: Throw him off the cliff too. //Adam: I- a corpse. //Bruce: Can you pick it up? //James: There you go. //Adam: Little bit of a delay there. //Bruce: Try to land him on your- oh what was that you just kicked off? //James: Don’t worry about it. //Bruce: Try to land him on your horse. //James: “Ride, boy!” //James: Ooh, he hit with a thud. //Adam: Oh, here we go. //Bruce: Uh oh, bad guy. //James: This guy doesn’t hear you. //James: Kick him! There you go. //Bruce: Beautiful. Hear the nat- hear nature? //James: Yeah, I can hear it. //Bruce: I love it. //Adam: These are the guys who made Dishonored //Bruce: Uh, what!? //James: This guy’s insane, by the way. //Adam: I love this narrator. //James: “Hoooo, yes! And you just found the rope bow and now you get to use it!” //James: Heee-yah! // James: Oh, that doesn’t help. //Bruce: Wait, so what are you supposed to- oh fire it across the – //James: In the middle? //Bruce: Oh okay so we made a jungle gym.
//Adam: Yeah, yeah we can jump and grab it. //James: Ah, shit. //Bruce: “Those boxes are in your way!” //James: Kick ’em, Adam, kick ’em. //Bruce: “Kick the boxes!” //James: “Yes, yes! Send the boxes flying!” //Bruce: “Very good!” //James: “Now jump to your rope bow and clutch it between your chest muscles!” //Bruce: “Swing the rope back and forth between your thighs!” //Bruce: “Climb the rope and get a weird feeling in your loins!” //Adam: Gain access the- wait. What’s happening? //Bruce: What is- what happened? //Bruce: “Your vision clouds!” //Bruce: Why is it all white? Can you turn it off? //James: Whoa, they have a load of thing-
//Bruce: Nice moves! //James: Nice block! //James: This must be real discouraging for this guy. //James:”Ah, fuck!” //James: Kick him, kick him! Kick him in his ass! //Bruce: Aww. //Bruce: Turn off the white thing. Can you get that off? Turn that off. //James: Hit – hit up on the d-pad. //Adam: Oh, it was that. //Bruce: It was starting to hurt my eyes. //Bruce: This is cool. I like this game. //James: I do, too. //Adam: I’ve been wanting to play it for a while. //Bruce: What? //Adam: Like, ten years. //Bruce: So you’re saying since 2006?
//James: I was gonna say, a hundred years? //Bruce: Oh, what are you doing!? Oh. That was close. “That was close!” //James: Uh oh, clutch it! //Bruce: Ohh, you’re dead. //Adam: No. //James: Oh, you’re still fine! You can do anything! //Bruce: “You jumped in the water and swam!” //Bruce: “Take off your shorts!”
//James: “You’re all wet.” //Adam: See, where did I come from? That’s the question. //James: “It’s where – will you cum, that’s the question!” //James: Prepare a powerful strike! //Bruce: Kick him in the back! What are you- //James: That was a powerful strike? //Bruce: Ooh, gotcha. //Bruce: Man, you are really good. //James: Nice, Adam. //Bruce: Oh no!
//James: Oh no! He’s down. He’s paralyzed! //James: “Don’t kill me!” //James: ‘Don’t kill me!” //Bruce: Oh no, he wasn’t dead, Adam! They could’ve rehabilitated him! //James: “I can’t feel my legs!” //James: “Please don’t kill me!” //Adam: He wants some too. //Bruce “I wanna have kids! Someone help! Someone help me!” //James: “Save my sperm! Save my sperm!” //Bruce: “Jerk me off before I die!” //Adam: Oh god. //James: Oof. Your adrenaline’s full, X!
//Bruce: Oh yeah, fuck you. //James: Hol- It says there do a powerful strike, you didn’t do it! //Bruce: It doesn’t matter. //James: There’s instructions! Follow the instructions so we can see everything! //Bruce: Oh my god. //James: “Make sure I died cool” //James: “Make sure I died cool! Tell my wife I was cool! Take my sperm!” //James: “You heard the man, take his sperm!” //Bruce: “And give it to me.” //James: “Yes, bring ME his sperm!” //Bruce: “Bring it to me in your hands, not in a cup!” //James: “I have a riddle for you: I want his sperm, gimme!” //James: “Solve it, if you can, hero! Put it in your mouth, that’s part of the riddle!” //James: Nope, you heard nothing. //James: There’s giant blocks of texts telling you what it wants you to do. //Bruce: Throw it. //James: Bonk. Now stab him. //James: Bonk. //Bruce: Alright, now do the execution. //Bruce: Oh gosh, he was already down! //Adam: Do you think I can block arrows? //James: Absolutely //James: No, he can’t.
//Bruce: No. //Bruce: Wow, he’s really good at it. //James: Adrenaline! Oh, don’t waste it! //James: The hero we deserve! //Bruce: Just kicking a corpse. //James: “Jerk it! Jerk the lever.” //James: Oh, right there.
//Bruce: There it is. //James: They were – what were they doing in there? //James: Oh, cut the rope! //James: RT to cut at the rope! //Adam: What rope? //Bruce: I don’t see a rope, do you see a rope? //James: Above, above! You drop the block on their head. //Bruce: There. See?
//James: Oh, right there. //James: He’s-
//Bruce: Oh, he missed. //Adam: It’s pretty dark. //Bruce: Dun matter. //James: Goddammit. //James: Huh, who’s there, spirit!? //James: Stab it in the spine. //Bruce: He comes – he comes back from the dead after thousands of years and he gets kicked in the back. //James: Oh, he’s back! Finishing blow! //James: Yep, the only way – the only way to finish an undead skeleton is to stab it through the spinal cord. //Adam: Hold on. //Adam: Yes! //James: Alright. //James: Wait for it to pop up. //Bruce: Oh, there’s two of ’em. //Adam: It’s always two. //James: And then you also have your adrenaline. //Bruce: They always- he’s dead. They always- //James: Alright, now use your adrenaline and heavy strike. //James: OHHHHH! //Bruce: Woah, one shot! I mean that guy’s just kinda- he just kinda stabbed it. Just with this. //James: But it went like, slow-mo //Adam: Oh, look! //Adam: He’s just asking to be kicked into the spikes. //James: There’s one thing that goes right through his lower back. //James: “That really paralyzes me.” //Bruce: New skill unlocked? //Bruce: I love that every time they come back from the dead you kick ’em right in the back. //Bruce: It’s a really good thing that there are spikes all over the walls. //James: I know. //Bruce: Alright, you know what to do. //Adam: Please line up, sir. //Bruce: Nope. //James: A little bit off there. //James: There you go. A little bit more. //Bruce: Yeah, just keep doing that. Just keep doing that. //James: There you go! //Adam: He kinda celebrates a little bit when he dies there. He’s like, “thank you!” //Bruce: You freed me! //James: Woah! //Bruce: Look at this! //James: Oh! It’s like a lightsabers. //Bruce: The battle to end all battles. //James: Then you both got tired. //Bruce: That’s what it said. //James: “It’s in my pants.” //Adam: Ohhh! //Bruce: Soul drinker! //James: Woahh! //Adam: Spider key, found it. //Bruce: Who’s we? //James: Come at me spider! //James: How do you like a hot spine?! //Bruce: I like the spider has nothing other than just to walk up to you. //James: Well what is it
supposed to do? //Bruce: Shoot webs like Spiderman. //Bruce: Nice moves, didn’t matter. //James: Ok, stab it in the spine. //James: X! X! //James: Super strike! //James: Hold! //Bruce: Doesn’t matter, it’s dead. He killed it. //Adam: It’s a scrot – //Bruce: Uh, it does look like balls. //Bruce: Wait, is this the – was that the end? //Adam: Of course it’s a demo. //Adam: Would you like to buy it now, Bruce?
[inaudible James is inaudible] //Bruce: Fuck. //Adam: Alright. //James: Kane & Lynch.
//Bruce: Kane & Lynch baby. //Adam: Never played this. // James: Neither have I. //Bruce: Neither have I. //Adam: Suppose to be a movie. //Bruce: What is this about? //James: Two best friends that might be gay get into trouble that’s basically – //Bruce: That’s it? //James: Yeah. //Bruce: Two best friends that might be gay? //James: Get into trouble. //Bruce: All right, I’m in. //James: Nice work, nice shots, good shots – //James: – you killed a lot.
//Bruce: You’re really good at this. //James: This is the most efficient method they had for this? //James: Oh no, is that uh –
//Bruce: Norman Reedus? //James: Norman Reedus? //James: You have to shoot them Adam. //Bruce: Look at that guy. (Bruce laughing) //James: Oh boy! //Bruce: What the fuck… //James: He’s a maniac. //Bruce: Why did he do that? //Adam: Get it? He crazy. (Ching chong fing fong in asian) //Bruce: What is he doing? //James: Nice toss, wow! //Bruce: That was the worst toss in the world. //Bruce: There you go, better. //James: A little better. (Adam wheezing)
//Bruce: Oh, got ’em! //James: Nice toss. //Bruce: He like threw a lemon at him. //James: Oof! (Bruce laughing) //Adam: It’s John Wick. //James: So many – so many other things copy Kane & Lynch. //Bruce: John Wick. //James: John Wick.
//Bruce: Walking Dead. //Bruce: GTA V
//James: GTA V //Bruce: GTA IV I think, copied this too.
//James: Uhhh – //James: I Love You Philip Morris. //Bruce: Yeah??? //James: Wow, that one dinged, but it made it at the perfect (?) //Bruce: It was, it was! //James: Look at the ding! //James: Oh, bad ding. //Bruce: Oh, that didn’t work. //James: That’s not right physics, that’s wrong. //Bruce: Got him anyways, it doesn’t matter. //James: Oof! //Bruce: Did they kill you or jerk you off? //James: He’s like: “Don’t worry buddy, I got ya!” (Patting wet fish sounds) //James: DON’T DIE ONNNNN ME! (Bruce orgasms)
//Bruce: I’m back! //James: God, you gotta stop throwing it so wild! //Bruce: This is like Heat! Also heat ripped this off. //James: Oh that’s cool, look at the demo over sign. (Bruce laughing) //Adam: Alright, want me do porn? //Bruce: Yes… //Adam: Hi, welcome to the part of the show, where we look at pornography. //Adam: Oh here’s Dark Messiah. //James: Oh yeah I remember that. //Bruce: No, we’ve never met the goblin yet – //James: Hold right trigger to heavy strike! //Bruce: Look at his balls hanging down! (all laughing) //Adam: Oh that’s in her butt. //Yeah that’s definitely in her butt. //Adam: Alright, and that – that’s the face. //Bruce: Ouhhh…
//Adam: Oh!
//James: Eyy! //Adam: Oh dear… //Bruce: What happened to her boobs? //James: “Hello Boys!” //Bruce: Ew, gross. //Bruce: That’s Mass Effect. //Adam: Mortal Kombat. //Bruce: Mortal Kombat. //Adam: Dark Messiah. //Bruce: Dark Messiah. //Bruce: Which one’s the oily one on the right? //James: You could be describing any of them. //Adam: I think that’s Lara Croft. //James: Yeah I think that is
Lara Croft. //Bruce: She is oily. //James: Oh is that what you become? That’s Saints Row. //Adam: Yeah. //Bruce: Yeah, you’re right it is. //Bruce: So those must be the Dark Messiah demons. //James: Oh, I see, I see. //Bruce: So Dark Messiah dancers. //Adam: There’s something going on –
//James: Look at the attention to detail – //James: – look yeah, there’s something going on the background, and there’s a van. //Bruce: Is this Kane & Lynch? //Adam: Yeah. //James: There gotta be more than that. //Bruce: I don’t know…
//Adam: No – //Adam: It wasn’t that popular. //Bruce: Hold on, there’s a – there’s a Kane & Lynch, uhhh – another section of Rule 34 that you didn’t click on, without the underscores. //Bruce: There you go. //James: There we go! //James: Oh no! Not Chainsaw Lollipop. //Adam: Just go back to Kane there. //Adam: He’s got cool Oakleys. //Bruce: Is that in the video game though? //Lawrence: No, that wasn’t in there. //Bruce: What about that? //Adam: Don’t tell anyone –
//Lawrence: Yeah, that was in there. //Adam: Okay //James: This will be our little secret. //Adam: Aww… //James: WE’RE GAY TOGETHER! //Bruce: That one looks like you Adam. //Adam: It is me!
//James: It is Adam! //Adam: Why did they tag in Kane & Lynch? //Bruce: Wait, how did they know?
//Lawrence: Wow. //Bruce: Wait – //Bruce: Wait, wait, hold on a minute, hold on a minute. //Adam: Six months ago?! //Bruce: Is this – six months ago, I was about to say, did somebody watching our livestream? //Adam: Why – Why Kane & Lyn – //Adam: Wh –
//James: We did it! //Bruce: They made that 6 months ago. //James: We found him! //Bruce: They knew! //Elyse: Look at his tattoo. //James: They even did – //Bruce: They even added his tattoo! //Lawrence: And that perfect vein running along the top. //James: Aw man, that’s great. //Bruce: Adam, you should be proud. //Adam: I kn – I mean this isn’t a
Photoshop so whatever. //James: That’s amazing. //Adam: Wow, that’s so weird.
//James: Well… //James: That’s a winner. //Bruce: Nice job, nice job Rule 34.
//James: Way to go Adam. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

100 Replies to “ADAM’S MAGIC WAND – Demo Disk Gameplay”

  1. I came here after watching a review for a pet fur removal tool!!! Fur Wand! But by god I shall stay for the heroic tales, I subbed noble sir!

  2. I don't know why this popped up in my recommended over a year after I watched it the first time.

    But I'm okay with it

  3. 12:25

    They have been doing demo disk for so long, they have gone through tons of demos, but since none of them ever fucking work or they just quit out, when they actually complete one Adam has to remind Bruce that it is in fact just a demo and it’s all there is in it.

  4. My son thinks is odd that i throw all the dead bodies of my victi…err i mean slain foes off cliffs in skyrim…i see i'm not the only one with that harmless instinctual behavior. (5:15)

  5. Amazing to come back and witness the beginning of one of the greatest – literal – foot-to-ass series in media history.

  6. "I have a riddle for you… I want his sperm, gimme." This will forever make me nearly make me pass out laughing. The delivery and the fact it's not a riddle at all gets me every time.

  7. your editors deserve a raise. lmao Unfortunate that you are your youtube content creators so I know that's not possible.

  8. Don't ask me why, but for no reason the Adam rule 34 episode popped in my head today… and now I'm here. Somethings just stick with you forever.

  9. All of you can talk about Adam’s rule 34, but I want to talk about how the narrator sounds exactly like James doing a shitty accent

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