A Black Lady Sketch Show: Get the Belt (Full Sketch) | HBO

A Black Lady Sketch Show: Get the Belt (Full Sketch) | HBO


MAN: (ON TV)Uh, Pat,
I will take a T.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-(AUDIENCE GROANS) MAN:Okay, okay, I got it.
I will take a lowercase T.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-Buy a vowel, bitch! MAN:Ain’t none of those,
neither? Dang!
-Reniece!
-(BELL DINGS) KIMBER ZAK:
Welcome back to
Get the Belt, voted 1992’s favorite mother
versus child competition show. I’m Kimber Zak. And I’m Carmen Sipp. Tonight we’ve got
two dynamic contestants going head to head. Representing the home team is this season’s
early stand-out, Tonisha. Now, she’s been known to knock
challengers into next week. Yes. She recently took out
fan favorite Man Man with an early game spankout. Her opponent tonight is
her eldest daughter, Reniece. This 13-year-old dynamo
has been really focusing on her obedience and…
this season, she’s undefeated. Hand me the remote. CARMEN SIPP:Oh,
an absolutely brilliant
opening move from Tonisha.That remote is clearly
well within her own reach.
She’s using a frustration tacticto get Reniece
to show some attitude,
which would, of course,lead to an immediate
beat and defeat.
KIMBER:As we know,
many things can lead
to a spankout,
including showing disrespect,
raising your voice, or being told
to “Fix your face.” CARMEN: Let’s keep an eye
on the mouthal region
to see if Reniece
can hold it together.
Are you kidding me?Not a smirk or a smile!
Astonishing!
KIMBER:Wow!
She knows she nailed that one,
and boy, that must feel good!CARMEN:
Surely Reniece doesn’t think
it’s going to be that easy?
Fans know that if a child
crosses the threshold of her room without her mother
getting the belt, she wins. Mm.
Now Tonisha was born at night, but she wasn’t born last night. Surely she’s got
more in store here. -(KIMBER GROANS)
-CARMEN:Flag on the play.It looks like
the batteries are dead.
Get back here! Bring me some AA batteries. CARMEN:Oh! The dreaded
“If I Have to Get Up
and Find It Myself Challenge.”
KIMBER:Yeah,
no one wants this one.
Now historically, Reniece
has excelled at this obstacle, but she might be
battling some fatigue after playing 18 rounds of Slide, Slide Slippedy Slide
at recess today. CARMEN:This is where Tonisha’s
homecourt advantage
really comes in handy.KIMBER:Yeah, well,
an advantage she always has
because Reniece hasn’t paid
nan one bill around here.Let’s put 15 seconds
on the clock.
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
-(TIMER BEEPING) CARMEN:Oh,
she’s picked up the blue tin.
Not gonna be anything in there
but needles and thread.
Honestly, Carmen,
you never know, these items are never anywhere
that makes a lick of sense. CARMEN:
Uh! Looks like this might be
all she wrote for Reniece.
-(BUZZER SOUNDS)
-(KIMBER CHEERS)No hocus pocus,
just focus
on that by Reniece. Amazing.(INDISTINCT CHATTER FROM TV) ♪ (“THE BIG ONE” BY ALAN TEW
PLAYS) ♪ KIMBER:
And the channel is changed.
Textbook execution by Reniece.CARMEN:Earlier tonight,
Man Man worked
Tonisha’s last good nerve,
seems to have taken its toll.
(SNORING HEAVILY) …the coupon… As a player,
Reniece probably wants to head to her room
for the easy win. (COUGHING) But, as a child, Reniece clearly wants
to capitalize off of this rare chance to watch something
she has no business watching. Kimber, what’s your play here? Well, I was in the same position
back in 1979. I could either
watchFacts of Life,which my mother had banned, due to, quote,
“Jo’s lesbian energy,” or I could go to my room
for the easy win. -Now, I chose the W, because…
-(YAWNS) I knew
if I didn’t start nothin’… BOTH: …there wouldn’t
be nothin’, that’s right. ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(SNORING)
-(KIMBER AND CARMEN GROAN) CARMEN:Reaching for the remote,
that’s risky.
Most veteran players would waituntil Tonisha hit that good,
full sleep before making a move.
KIMBER:Oh!
Clearly Reniece disagrees,
she already has the remote.She’s not in the clear yet.Seventy-eight percent
of wakeups happen
during
the channel changing stage,
something about
the abrupt noise shift
is disrupting
to a snoozing parent.
Is she turning down the TV?I’ve never seen
this strategy before.
KIMBER:Wow,
we are either witnessing
an embarrassing
lack of judgement,
or a move that could,
quite frankly,
-revolutionize this sport.
-CARMEN:I mean…-(CHANNEL CHANGES)
-CARMEN:And she did it!-You go, girl!
-BOTH: Wow! These are the moments I live for
right here! This is what live TV is about! Whoa! I can’t breathe right now. -Whoa!
-Wow! (CHUCKLES) KIMBER:Making noise
while her mother’s asleep.
She’s just showboating now.I mean, this is… wow!-KIMBER:Uh-oh, bogie!
-CARMEN:Yikes!KIMBER:
Surprise attack by Man Man!
CARMEN:Uh-oh.You lettin’ all the cold air
out my house? Wh– It wasn’t me! TONISHA: And you talkin’ back? ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ CARMEN:And just like that,
it’s over.
Congratulations to Tonisha.KIMBER:Yeah, you know,
this was clearly Man Man’s fault
but as we’ve seen here
onGet the Belt before… BOTH:
…it doesn’t fucking matter. ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ You got shoes on in my house? Uh– Uh– No, ma’am,
of course not. I would never track outside
on your floors. ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Uh… well, that’s it for us
here atGet the Belt,so tune in next time
when we find out whether or not I was too grown
to get a whoopin’! -TONISHA: You ain’t too grown!
-Run! TONISHA: You better run faster
than that, I used to run track! Thanks for watching
Get the Belt.
Be inspired.

100 Replies to “A Black Lady Sketch Show: Get the Belt (Full Sketch) | HBO”

  1. How is this funny? It's what needs to be fixed in Black homes.

    What's really sad is that Black people were willing to participate in this.

    And why is the Black woman in the ring wearing that really awful wig?

  2. I hate this show this show is a try-hard so if I'm a black woman that has the love this show now is my opinion I like giving the show any no clout that's what that means a shout out this show is being exploited because is because these woman's are black and that's all I have to say Nevermore and there were two black men it'll be the next p and Kai rip off

  3. I really did'nt care for this. There's something so wrong with this kind of entertainment.
    And the F-bomb commentary is twacked.

  4. Damn. I'm a filipina but why this video 11/10 fuckin relatable. HAHAHHAHHA is black and asian people are alike, or all mothers are like this? 😂

  5. The black household was very toxic and abusive but also felt with laughter, love, confusion, high tempers, and low self-esteem. This sketch is both funny and sad… Most parents only do what their parents do but I guess they forgot it made them feel when they were in those shoes. Made them feel unloved. We have to do better. Black families are told to keep what's in this house in this house, to not seek counseling and to hold or your feelings in. It's time to HEAL AND CHANGE

  6. Mothers abusing their power and treating children as though they are servants is not funny at all, its degrading and cruel. Child abuse is not a football game. It should not be treated this lightly. Please stop romantizing abusive parenting!

  7. Watching this was so frustrating. I can't stand abusive people, i hope it is really just to show how bad these behaviour are and not to laugh, because i can't see a funny thing in this video.

  8. As a fully (and I mean fully) black kenyan girl that never experienced any of this, I just wanted to point out that this sketch is borderline terrifying. If any of your parents were anywhere close to this fucking toxic then I hope you grew to realise you deserve better and the people you love do as well.

  9. women with no man for support…. overweight …. lonely …that's why they so angry. It's an epidemic always has even

  10. Lol. I somehow lucked out by having a Psychologist/Reiki Master as a father. I was not punished in such a way. BUT… It's not only us that do this. My Russian boyfriend tells me horror stories about how he was disciplined. Horror stories.

  11. Im so thankful….my parents werent like this. Dont get me wrong my dad def hogged the remote…but he didnt beat us for wanting to watch tv. Simple "turn the game back on" was enough for him most days. Or "you dont like what im watching go to your room and read" usually got his point across. But sadly i know a few people who lived this

  12. You- you do realise that this isn’t just black kids, right? My mother, who was white, constantly made me feel like a shitty person who deserved to die. Wow. You got hit by a belt. We got hit with hands. It still fucks people up. You’re not special, love.

  13. Who actually thinks this is a good way to raise kids? Making them to everything for you just to establish dominance.

  14. People are saying this cause mental issues
    Yet you parents punished you for being bad not for no reason
    This is a joke, of course your parents dont actually beat you for reasons like this,if they do then thats just abuse especially if they leave marks
    But aside from that,in reality its cause they want you to grow up successful they just dont want you to do the same mistakes all the time its not cause they want you sad its cause they love you so calm tf down with these fake acusasions of mental illnesses cause reality check people actually go through much worst
    And your parents are just trying to teach you lessons.

    P.s notice how i didnt say black parents. Yeah because its not only us who punish our children

  15. Kids shouldn't have to go through this, they should be able to live without having a fear of their own parents in my opinion

  16. Ok this was disturbing, do y’all need help? Everyone doing ok? I swear to Jesus Christ himself this better not be how y’all are treated…

  17. The child has to be OBEDIENT to win. That's a good Godly show no white homes would win. They'd disobey their mothers outright.
    They'd fail at the first request made of the child, no matter how small.

  18. Bro I’ve been beat and whooped and y’all in the comments getting offended and stuff? Being whooped definitely changed me to be respectful 😂

  19. I know this is supposed to be funny, but by every deity believed in, any parent like this woman should have been sterilized.

    Just because you can have a kid doesn't mean you should.

  20. WHOLE BUNCH OF BLACK PPL HERE GENERALIZING YOUR OWN COMMUNITY. STOP. THAT ALSO IS AN AFFECT OF WHITE SUPREMACY. Other races do their kids like this too and worst.

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